Subject: Definitions (Page 51)

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Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

Patriotism: The willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.

Death Definitions

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Definitions Science/Weather

Neurotic: Sane but unhappy about it.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Atheist: A man who has no invisible means of support.

(1875 – 1940) Scottish novelist, historian & Governor General of Canada
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay

Consultation: A medical term meaning “share the wealth.”

Definitions

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.

Definitions

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Balanced Diet: A cookie in each hand.

Definitions

Spine: A long, limber bone. Your head sets on one end and you set on the other.

Definitions

Dance: The action of moving rhythmically to music with a partner, a skill which a woman possesses naturally, but which a man acquires only for the short time in his young adulthood when he wishes to meet and impress young women, and abandons thereafter due to mysterious knee injuries.

Dance Definitions Entertainment

Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Language Learning

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

Propaganda: Baloney disguised as food for thought.

Definitions Wordplay

Jeans: Lower half of the international uniform of youth.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Inertia: Tendency of a skier’s body to resist changes in direction or speed due to the action of Newton’s First Law of Motion.

Definitions Science/Weather

Redneck: Popular term for a rustic male, but rarely employed when addressing one in person.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Fishing: A venerable contest in which modern man pits his intelligence and technology against the native wit of primitive aquatic vertebrates, and generally finishes second.

Activities Definitions