Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Definitions
(Page 51)
View All Definitions
Twins: Womb-mates.
Anonymous
Definitions
Twins
Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Dogs
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Boy
Garden: Something that dies if you don’t water it, and rots if you do.
Anonymous
Definitions
Garden
Life: A play with a lousy third act.
Anonymous
Definitions
Life
Insanity: Knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Insanity
Newborn Baby: Fresh heir.
Anonymous
Definitions
Newborn Baby
Old age is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
Dr. Laurence J. Peter
(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age
Definitions
Old
Old age
Archbishop: An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.
Anonymous
Definitions
Religion
Archbishop
Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”
Anonymous
Definitions
Problems
Status quo
Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
Anonymous
Body
Definitions
Skeleton
Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Elections/Voting
Government
Language
Elector
Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.
Anonymous
Definitions
Emotions
Happiness
Cheerfulness
Zircon: A diamond falsie.
Anonymous
Definitions
Diamond
Zircon
Detour: Something that lengthens your mileage, diminishes your gas, and strengthens your vocabulary.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Travel
Detour
Heirloom: Some old thing nobody liked well enough to wear out.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Heirloom
Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Adolescents
Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.
Anonymous
Definitions
Fad
Statistician: A person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Statistician
Handkerchief: Cold Storage.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Handkerchief
Short Vacation: Half a loaf.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Short Vacation
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