Subject: Definitions (Page 51)

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Indifference: A woman’s feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get.”

Definitions

Discretion: A sense that comes to a man too late to do him any good.

Definitions

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Definitions

Insurance: A form of gambling in which we bet our chance of escaping disaster, and win only when we lose.

Definitions

Baby: An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.

Definitions Family

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Definitions Opinion

Nursery: Bawl room.

Definitions

Summer camp is where the parents spend a thousand dollars so their daughter can learn to make a fifty-cent potholder.

Definitions Places

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

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Sympathizer: A fellow that’s for you as long as it doesn’t cost anything.

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Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Experience: In the working world, something you can’t get unless you’ve already got it, in which case you probably don’t want any more of it.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Bus: A vehicle that has empty seats when going in the opposite direction.

Definitions

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

Definitions Occupations

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

Camp: Where parents spend $1,000 for eight weeks to teach their child to make a 25-cent ash tray.

Definitions

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Heredity: The thing a child gets from the other side of the family.

writer
Definitions Family

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

Hydroponic Gardening: Using a plant to convert water into yard work.

Definitions