Subject: Definitions (Page 52)

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Shoplifting: Free enterprise.

Conflict Crime Definitions

Savages: People who don’t know what is wrong until missionaries show them.

Definitions People

A farm is an irregular patch of nettles bounded by short-term notes, containing a fool and his wife who didn’t know enough to stay in the city.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Definitions Places Things

Derange: Where de buffalo roam.

Definitions

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

Conscience: The voice that tells you not to do something after you have done it.

Definitions

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions

Honesty: The fear of being caught.

Characteristics Definitions

Love: Oceans of emotions surrounded by expanses of expenses.

Definitions Emotions Love

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

Definitions

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

Eulogy: Praise that’s too much and too late.

Death Definitions

Necktie: A decorative noose worn by businessmen.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Clothing Definitions

Sleeping Bag: A nap sack.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Cigarette: A bit of tobacco with a fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Definitions

After-Dinner Speaker: A person who only has a few words to say, but seldom stops when he has said them.

Definitions

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

Newspaper: A publication that condemns gambling and promotes lottery numbers.

Definitions

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Definitions People