Subject: Definitions (Page 52)

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Cross-Eyed Teacher: A teacher that loses control over his or her pupils.

Definitions

Amateur Athlete: An athlete who is paid in cash, not by check..

Definitions

Marriage: A  relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Definitions Marriage

Doubles: Tennis game played by athletic couples who wish to burn a few calories while arguing.

Definitions Sports

Armadillo: Possum on the half shell.

Animals Definitions

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, in addition to when it is removed.

Cooking Definitions

Snoring: Sound sleeping.

Definitions

Window: A looking-out glass.

Definitions Things

Wedding Ring: A one-man band.

Definitions Marriage

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

Mercy: An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Dna: A complex organic molecule characterized as the building block of life and appropriately shaped like a spiral staircase to nowhere.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

Definitions Government Taxes

Dentist: man who lives from hand to mouth.

Definitions Occupations

Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.

Definitions

Vacation: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

Definitions

Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket.

Definitions Money

Polygamy – the art of  parrot-folding.

comic actor-writer
Communication Definitions Wordplay

Bore: A person who takes his time taking your time.

Definitions

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Clothing Definitions Places