Subject: Definitions (Page 52)

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Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Future Time

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work

Democracy: A system whereby the person who never votes can cuss out the man the other people elected.

Definitions Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

Body Definitions Education School

Falsies: A helpful aid to any girl in acquiring a disappointed husband.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.

Definitions Government

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Definitions Occupations

Abasement: A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth and power.

Definitions

Hallucination: A belief owned exclusively by one person.

Definitions

Below: Sing Bass.

Definitions

Heirloom: Some old thing nobody liked well enough to wear out.

Definitions Things

Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your own way.

Definitions

Plagiarism: Failure to adorn stolen ideas with footnotes, as opposed to scholarship, which repeatedly acknowledges the theft.

Definitions Ideas Reading/Writing

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Expert: A man who is seldom in doubt, but often in error.

Definitions

Subsidy: A formula devised by politicians to give you back some of your own money in such a way that you are supposed to think it’s a gift.

Definitions

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

Ad Hoc: Pawn shop advertisement.

Definitions