Subject: Definitions (Page 53)

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Insider trading: Stealing too fast.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Conflict Crime Definitions

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Definitions Mistakes

Yodeling: Slope opera.

Definitions Wordplay

Race Track: Where thousands of people can get taken for a ride on the same horse.

Definitions

Christian: A man who feels repentance on a Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

America: A nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.

America Definitions Places

Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.

Definitions Places

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Asylum: A refuge where unusual people are protected from the world.

Definitions

Committee: A group which succeeds in getting something done only when it consists of three members, one of whom happens to be sick and the other absent.

Definitions

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Definitions Speech

Reformer: One who wants his conscience to be your guide.

Definitions

Rite: A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Friend: Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.

Definitions Friends People

Bachelor: A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.

Definitions Men People Relationships

Garage: An attic on a lower level.

Definitions

State-Of-The-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

Definitions