Subject: Definitions (Page 54)

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e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

Filing Cabinet: A place where you lose things alphabetically.

Definitions

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

Kiss: What the child gets free, the young man steals, and the old man buys.

Definitions

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Jury: Twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Definitions Government Law Lawyers

Age: The time when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

Age Definitions Old

Funeral Home: a stately manse occupied by transients who continually receive visitors but lack the energy and inclination to entertain them.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Un-American: Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
America Characteristics Definitions Places

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Definitions Speech

Status Quo: Latin for “the mess we’re in.”

Definitions Problems

Spanking: Stern punishment.

Definitions

Saint: A dead sinner, revised and edited.

Definitions People

Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

Definitions

Window Shopping: Eye browsing.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Unopposed candidate: An officeholder who has mastered the art of campaign reform.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Babysitter: One who accepts hush money.

Definitions

Cardiology: The study of poker playing.

Activities Definitions

Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

Definitions Doctors Health

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Taxes

Riot: A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions