Subject: Definitions (Page 54)

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Home: A place where man goes to raise a fuss because something went wrong at the office.

Definitions Places

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

Age Definitions

Union: A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.

Definitions Work

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Definitions Occupations Work

Cookie: A standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat.

Definitions Food/Drink

Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.

Definitions

Night Club: A place where they take the rest out of restaurant and put the din in dinner.

Definitions Places

Amnesty: The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

Definitions

Fiddlesticks: Violin bows.

Definitions

Altar: To change through marriage.

Definitions Marriage

Diet: A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds.

Definitions Food/Drink

Vasectomy: Spoil the rod… spare the child.

Definitions

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.

Definitions

Lawyer: A professional advocate hired to bend the law on behalf of a paying client; for this reason considered the most suitable background for entry into politics.

Definitions Lawyers

Fortune teller: Séance fiction.

Definitions

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

Umbrella: A movable roof.

Definitions Things

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work