Subject: Definitions (Page 55)

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Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Conference: An organized way of postponing a decision.

Definitions

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language Self

Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.

Beliefs Definitions People

Plagiarize: To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Reading/Writing

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

Orthodox: Bone doctors.

Definitions Doctors

X: The signature of a happy man.

Definitions

Casserole: A method used by ingenious cooks to get rid of leftovers.

Definitions Food/Drink

Rhetoric: Language in a dress suit.

Definitions Language

Astronomer: Night watchman.

Definitions Occupations

Caramel: A substance for extracting children’s teeth.

Definitions Food/Drink

Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.

Definitions Occupations Work

Baby: An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.

Definitions Family

Heir Cut: Disinheritance.

Definitions

Blushing: The color of virtue.

Definitions

Dollar: The jack of all trades.

Definitions

Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Adolescence: The age between puberty and adultery.

Age Definitions Sex