Subject: Definitions (Page 56)

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Bore: A person who has nothing to say and says it.

Definitions

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Clothing Communication Definitions Language

Communism: The cause that suppresses.

Definitions

Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.

Definitions

Argument: A discussion where two people try to get the last word in first

Definitions

Experience: The name an older man gives to his mistakes.

Definitions Mistakes

Insanity: Grounds for divorce in some states; grounds for marriage in all

Definitions Marriage

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Definitions

Upgraded and Improved: Didn't work the second time.

Definitions Situations Things

Fidelity : A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Marriage

Martyr: One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language

Miser: One who’s perfectly content to let the rest of the world go buy.

Definitions

Husband: A polygamous animal in a monogamous strait-jacket.

Definitions Marriage

Entrepreneur: What you’re called when you don’t have a job.

Definitions

Trojan Horse: A phony pony.

Definitions

To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Speech

Absent: The notation generally following your name in a class record.

Definitions

Necktie: A decorative noose worn by businessmen.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Clothing Definitions

Dictator: A self-madman.

Definitions

Dawn: 1. The time when men of reason go to bed. 2. When the sun first shines on your hangover.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Time

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Future Time