Subject: Definitions (Page 56)

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Executive Shakeup: Title wave.

Definitions

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

Baby: An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.

Definitions Family

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions

Users: Computer users are divided into three types: Novice users: people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer. Intermediate users: people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it. Expert users: people who break other people's computers.

Computers Definitions People Things

Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.

Definitions Family

Craze: The other guy’s hobby.

Definitions

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions

Kiss: What the child gets free, the young man steals, and the old man buys.

Definitions

Censor: A person who sticks his noes into other people’s business.

Definitions

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

Take: To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

The best definition of an honest politician is one who… when he is bought, stays bought.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Definitions Government Politicians

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Twice: Once too often.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Situations

Friend: Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.

Definitions Friends People

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

Alcohol Definitions

Pacifist: A fellow who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight.

Conflict Definitions Fights People

Budget: A method of worrying before you spend, instead of afterward.

Definitions

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions