Subject: Definitions (Page 56)

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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Definitions

Consultant: Someone who knows 101 ways to make love, but can’t get a date.

Definitions

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

Clique: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Durable Goods: Those that last longer than the time payments.

Definitions Things

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink

Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.

Definitions

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Alimony: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Definitions Marriage

Ad Hoc: Pawn shop advertisement.

Definitions

Vuja de: The feeling you've never been here.

Definitions

Diet: The penalty for exceeding the feed limit.

Definitions Food/Drink

Husband: A polygamous animal in a monogamous strait-jacket.

Definitions Marriage

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

Monastery: Consecration camp.

Definitions Religion

X-Ray: A diagnostic tool used to detect existing cancerous growths and create new ones for future examinations to reveal.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Health

Handkerchief: Cold Storage.

Definitions Health

Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.

Communication Definitions

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.

Body Definitions