Subject: Definitions (Page 57)

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Quartet: Four men, all of whom think that the other three can’t sing.

Definitions Entertainment

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

Poor man: One feels genuinely sorry for him.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Definitions

Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

Unimpeachable Source: The guy that started the rumor in the first place.

Definitions

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Cuddling: An act of warmth and affection that a husband will inevitably interpret as foreplay.

Definitions

Y Chromosome: The cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

Definitions Men

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

Epigram: A wisecrack that played Carnegie Hall.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Definitions Language

Ambiguity: The lack of clarity in speech… or perhaps, something else.

Definitions

Argument: A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but the other person hasn’t realized it yet.

Definitions

Manners: Noises you don’t make when eating soup.

Definitions

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Ultimatum: In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.

Definitions

False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.

Definitions

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Definitions People

American Language: English run over by a musical comedy.

Communication Definitions

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,614 times a day.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work