Subject: Definitions (Page 57)

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Honeymoon: The morning after the knot before.

Communication Definitions Marriage

Avoidance: A dance for people who hate each other.

Definitions

Antipathy: The sentiment inspired by one’s friend’s friend.

Definitions

Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Definitions Education

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Definitions Family

Zeal: A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions Young

Dna: A complex organic molecule characterized as the building block of life and appropriately shaped like a spiral staircase to nowhere.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.

Definitions Time

Sabbatical: A Latin word meaning, “I quit, but you won’t know it for certain for a year.”

Definitions

Husband: A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife’s permission to say so.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

Famous Last Words: “This is easy.”

Death Definitions

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Traffic Light: A trick to get pedestrians halfway across the street safely.

Autos Definitions Things

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay

Censor: A man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Communication Definitions Language

Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.

Definitions Situations

Radical: Anyone whose opinion differs from ours.

Beliefs Definitions People

Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.

Definitions Shopping

Prostitute: A busy body.

Definitions

Abort: To correct a misconception.

Definitions