Subject: Definitions (Page 57)

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Discussion: A method of confirming others in their errors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Mistakes People

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

Forger: A man who made a name for himself.

Definitions

Bigamist: A man who who has had one too many.

Definitions Marriage

Reparation: Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Money

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Definitions

Discretion: A sense that comes to a man too late to do him any good.

Definitions

Wisdom: Knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Old age is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions Old

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Definitions

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Funeral: A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Death Definitions

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

Body Definitions

Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

Anatomy: Something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.

Appearance Body Definitions

Judge: A man in a trying position.

Definitions Wordplay

State-Of-The-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

Definitions

Vacation: A period during which people find out where to stay away from next year.

Definitions

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Definitions