Subject: Definitions (Page 58)

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Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Autos Definitions Things

Miracle: An event described by those to whom it was told by men who did not see it.  

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Definitions

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

Profanity: The father tongue.

Communication Definitions Language Speech

Diplomacy: The ability to take something and make the other fellow believe he is giving it away.

Definitions

Fanatic: One who, having lost sight of his goal, redoubles his efforts.

Definitions People

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Definitions Education

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is.

Definitions

Below: Sing Bass.

Definitions

VD: The gift that keeps on giving.

Definitions Health

Woman: A creature who is either making a fool out of man, or making a man out of a fool.

Definitions People

Durable Goods: Those that last longer than the time payments.

Definitions Things

Etiquette: The noise you don’t make while eating soup.

Definitions

Vulgarity: The conduct of others.

Definitions

Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

Death Definitions

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

Earthquake: A topographical error.

Definitions

Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.

Definitions