Subject: Definitions (Page 6)

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Oppose: To assist with obstructions and objections.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

The Cocktail Party: A device for paying off obligations to people you don’t want to invite to dinner.

(1916 – 1986) American minister & author
Activities Definitions People

Intimacy: The first step toward parenthood.

Definitions

Keepsake: Something given us by someone we’ve forgotten.

Definitions Things

Avoidance: A dance for people who hate each other.

Definitions

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Longevity: Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Life

Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

Vulgarity: The conduct of others.

Definitions

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

Free Verse: Verse written without rhyme or reason.

Definitions Reading/Writing

Chauffeur: A man who is smart enough to operate an automobile, but clever enough not to own one.

Autos Definitions Things

Motherhood: If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

Definitions

Cat: A lap warmer with a built-in buzzer.

Animals Cats Definitions

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Definitions Money

Mission Statement: A long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management’s inability to think clearly.

Definitions

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Marriage

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Definitions

Foosball: A combination of soccer and shish kabobs.

Activities Definitions

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life