Subject: Definitions (Page 60)

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Omen: A sign that something will happen if nothing happens.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Definitions Men Sex

Awe: Wow of silence.

Definitions

Hospital Bed: A parked taxi with the meter running.

Definitions

Job: A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Definitions

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things

Brassiere: A bust stop.

Clothing Definitions

Fobia: The fear of misspelled words.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Math Anxiety: An intense lifelong fear of two trains approaching each other at speeds of 60 and 80 mph.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

Beauty parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.

Definitions

Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.

Definitions Relationships

Consultant: Someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Definitions

History: An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions History Time

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government

Science: An orderly arrangement of what, at the moment, seems to be the facts.

Beliefs Definitions Facts Science/Weather

Old age is when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Age Definitions Old