Subject: Definitions (Page 60)

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Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

Marriage: A  relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Definitions Marriage

Editor: The fellow who makes a long story short.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language Money

Plagiarism: Failure to adorn stolen ideas with footnotes, as opposed to scholarship, which repeatedly acknowledges the theft.

Definitions Ideas Reading/Writing

Abash: A high school graduation party.

Definitions

Doctor: A guy who tells you if you don’t cut out something he’ll cut something out of you.

Definitions Doctors Health

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Chaperoning: A spectator spoil-sport.

Definitions

Baby: Nine months interest on a small deposit.

Children Definitions Family

Glutton: A person who escapes the evils of moderation by committing dyspepsia.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Eating

Contempt: The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Autobiography: An I-witness account

Books Communication Definitions People Self

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

Good Sport: One who will always let you have your own way.

Definitions

Patience: The quality you admire in the driver behind you but can’t stand in the driver who’s in front of you.

Characteristics Definitions

Insomnia: contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.

Activities Definitions Sleep

House: Domicile purchased by married couples so they have some place to pour all their money.

Definitions

Centaur: A man with a horse where his pants ought to be.

Definitions