Subject: Definitions (Page 61)

View All Definitions

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

Hospitality: The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

Definitions

Thrift: Common sense applied to spending.

Definitions Money

Mixed Company: What you are in when you think of a story you can’t tell there.

Definitions People

Connoisseur: One who attains an obsessive knowledge of wines, audio equipment, cats or French cheeses so as to confer a sense of inadequacy on those who would simply enjoy them.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government Law

Infant Prodigies: Young people with highly imaginative parents.

Children Definitions Family

Belong: To take your time.

Definitions

Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Definitions Education

Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus.

Definitions

Puttering: Woman’s word for man’s work.

Definitions

Eskimos: God’s frozen people.

Definitions People

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.

Definitions Wordplay

Broom: Witch craft.

Definitions

Saint: A dead sinner, revised and edited.

Definitions People

Pessimist: A person who looks at a doughnut and sees nothing but the hole.

Definitions

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions

Experience: In the working world, something you can’t get unless you’ve already got it, in which case you probably don’t want any more of it.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Kill: To create a vacancy without nominating a successor.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Death Definitions Killing

Kiss: A course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of conversation when words are superfluous.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions