Subject: Definitions (Page 61)

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Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Computers Definitions Things

Secret: What we tell everybody to tell nobody.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

After-Dinner Speaker: A fellow who rises to the occasion – and then stands too long.

Definitions

After-Dinner Speaker: A person who only has a few words to say, but seldom stops when he has said them.

Definitions

Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world.

Definitions People

Belong: To take your time.

Definitions

Sabbatical: A Latin word meaning, “I quit, but you won’t know it for certain for a year.”

Definitions

Bus: A vehicle that has empty seats when going in the opposite direction.

Definitions

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

Abash: A high school graduation party.

Definitions

Judge: A law student who grades his own papers.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Definitions Law

Bigamist: A man who makes the same mistake twice.

Definitions Marriage

Unitarian: One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Cartoon: What’s sung when driving your car.

Definitions

Courtesy: Acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

Ignoramus: Someone who doesn’t know something that you learned yesterday.

Definitions Intelligence

Balanced Diet: A cookie in each hand.

Definitions

Self-esteem: An erroneous appraisement.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

Technology: The knack of so arranging the world that we need not experience it.

(1911 – 1991) Swiss playwright & novelist
Definitions Science/Weather

Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing