Subject: Definitions (Page 62)

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Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

Stock Market: A popular game of chance in which moneyed speculators gamble with the nation’s economy, the object being to amass as much unearned income as possible before one’s fellow gamblers withdraw from the game and precipitate a nationwide depression.

Definitions Money

Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.

Definitions Golf Sports

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Definitions Men Sex

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Definitions Politicians

Tax Reform: Taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before.

Definitions Government Taxes

Liberal: A man who feel’s it’s his responsibility to spend a Conservative’s money.

Beliefs Definitions People

Consult: To seek another’s approval of a course already decided upon.

Definitions

Subsidy: A formula devised by politicians to give you back some of your own money in such a way that you are supposed to think it’s a gift.

Definitions

Adam’s Rib: The original bone of contention.

Definitions

History: An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions History Time

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Definitions Marriage

Refinement: The ability to yawn without opening your mouth.

Characteristics Definitions

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age Definitions

Hindsight: What one experiences from changing too many diapers.

Definitions

Bore: A person who deprives you with solitude without providing company.


Definitions People

Dictator: One who thinks he can take it – no matter to whom it belongs.

Definitions

Fishing: A delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

Activities Definitions