Subject: Definitions (Page 62)

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Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

Tomorrow: What always comes but never arrives.

Definitions Future Time

Memorial Service: A farewell party for someone who has already left.

Death Definitions

Whoa!: A brake for horses.

Animals Definitions

Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.

Appearance Body Definitions

Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.

Age Definitions

Punctuality: Waiting around for other people.

Definitions

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Definitions Money

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Vaccination: An ouch of prevention.

Definitions Health

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.

Definitions Family

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

Good Neighbor: One who makes his noise at the same time you make yours.

Definitions

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

Humility: The ability to act ashamed when you tell people how wonderful you are.

Definitions

Discriminate: To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language People

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.

Definitions

Teenagers: People who get hungry again before the dishes are even washed.

Age Definitions