Subject: Definitions (Page 64)

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Baby: An alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.

Definitions Family

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Vacation: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

Definitions

Father: A guy who is working his child’s way through college.

Definitions Family Fathers

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Definitions

Auction: A place where, if you aren’t careful, you’ll get something for nodding.

Definitions

Counsel: Advice with a price tag.

Definitions

Disc Jockey: A guy who lives on spins and needles.

Definitions Occupations

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Definitions

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Definitions

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

Grandmother: A babysitter who doesn’t hang around the refrigerator.

Definitions Family

Propaganda: Patriotism as practiced by our enemies.

Communication Definitions

Righteous Indignation: Your own wrath, as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

Anger Definitions Emotions

Glutton: A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink People

Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

Definitions

Kidney: A complex organ used to convert beer into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Definitions Opinion