Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Definitions
(Page 64)
View All Definitions
Diet: Something you keep putting off while you keep putting on.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Diet
Ability: What you have to get by on if you don’t kiss-up to the boss.
Anonymous
Definitions
Ability
Sex: The formula by which one and one makes three.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sex
Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.
Anonymous
Definitions
Things
Antiques
Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
People
Genealogy
Racehorse: A fast means of redistributing wealth.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Betting
Racehorse
Y-chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.
Rick Bayan
(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions
Men
Y Chromosome
Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.
Anonymous
Dating
Definitions
Blind Date
Cartoon: What’s sung when driving your car.
Anonymous
Definitions
Cartoon
Alimony: Bounty after the mutiny.
Max Kaufman
typographer
Definitions
Marriage
Alimony
Overeat: To dine.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Eating
Food/Drink
Language
Overeat
Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.
Anonymous
Cooking
Definitions
Char
Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Sex
Women
Easy
Gigolo: A fee-male.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
Anonymous
Definitions
Garden Rule
Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
Epitaph
Woman: A creature who is either making a fool out of man, or making a man out of a fool.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Woman
Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Government
Language
Law
Congress
Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.
Anonymous
Body
Definitions
Cleavage
Selfishness: A state of mine.
Anonymous
Definitions
Selfishness
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