Subject: Definitions (Page 64)

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Diet: Something you keep putting off while you keep putting on.

Definitions Food/Drink

Ability: What you have to get by on if you don’t kiss-up to the boss.

Definitions

Sex: The formula by which one and one makes three.

Definitions Sex

Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Definitions Things

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

Definitions Golf Sports

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are.

Definitions Family People

Racehorse: A fast means of redistributing wealth.

Activities Definitions

Y-chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions

Cartoon: What’s sung when driving your car.

Definitions

Alimony: Bounty after the mutiny.

typographer
Definitions Marriage

Overeat: To dine.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Eating Food/Drink Language

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire.

Cooking Definitions

Easy: Used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

Definitions People Sex Women

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Definitions

Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

Death Definitions

Woman: A creature who is either making a fool out of man, or making a man out of a fool.

Definitions People

Congress: A body of men who meet to repeal laws.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.

Body Definitions

Selfishness: A state of mine.

Definitions