Subject: Definitions (Page 65)

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Connoisseur: A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

Breeding: Concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Definitions

Conference: An organized way of postponing a decision.

Definitions

Accountant: One who uses your books to figure his profit.

Definitions Occupations

Fobia: The fear of misspelled words.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Accordion: An instrument whose music is long drawn out.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Genetic Engineering: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo. –

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

Tricycle: A tot rod.

Definitions

Savages: People who don’t know what is wrong until missionaries show them.

Definitions People

Antique: An object that has made a round trip to the attic.

Definitions Things

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

Contraceptives: What Protestants use on all conceivable occasions.

Definitions

Home: A place where a man is free to say anything he pleases because no one pays any attention to him.

Definitions Places

Democracy: A system whereby the person who never votes can cuss out the man the other people elected.

Definitions Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Garden: Something that dies if you don’t water it, and rots if you do.

Definitions

Abstainer: A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Delta: A river with its mouth full of mud.

Definitions

Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.

Definitions Health

Christmas: A warm, cheery two-month festival that celebrates the joy of retail merchandise.

Definitions

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay