Subject: Definitions (Page 65)

View All Definitions

Wisdom: Knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Arithmetic: Being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.

Definitions

Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government

Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

Definitions Doctors Health

X-Ray: A diagnostic tool used to detect existing cancerous growths and create new ones for future examinations to reveal.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Health

News: The same thing happening today that happened yesterday, but to different people.

Definitions

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn.

Definitions

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

Truce: Friendship.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Relationships

Ecstasy: Happiness with its clothes off.

Definitions Emotions Happiness Sex

Below: Sing Bass.

Definitions

Major: Area of study that no longer interests you.

Definitions Education Learning

Monogamy: A marriage system in which subscribers are requested to return one wife before taking another.

Definitions Marriage

Twilight: All the difference between day and night.

Definitions Time

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Definitions Science/Weather

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.

Definitions Marriage

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

Spine: A long, limber bone. Your head sets on one end and you set on the other.

Definitions

Toastmaster: A gentleman who introduces a gentleman who needs no introduction.

Definitions

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Vacuum Cleaner: A sonic broom.

Definitions Things