Subject: Definitions (Page 65)

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Secret: Information you tell to one person at a time.

Definitions

Argument: A discussion where two people try to get the last word in first

Definitions

Conference: An organized way of postponing a decision.

Definitions

Rear: In American military matters, that exposed part of the army that is nearest to Congress.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Congress Definitions Military

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Misnomer: The right name for the wrong word.

Communication Definitions Language

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Definitions Money

Inertia: Tendency of a skier’s body to resist changes in direction or speed due to the action of Newton’s First Law of Motion.

Definitions Science/Weather

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Definitions Occupations

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

Definitions Food/Drink

Small Town: Where everybody is interested in what the Joneses will name the latest baby, while a big city is where they worry about what the zoo will call the new elephant.

Definitions Places

Statesman: A politician who is held upright by equal pressure from all directions.

Definitions Politicians

Lecher: A stud with liver spots.

Definitions

Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Impossible: What nobody can do until somebody does it.

Definitions

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

Pessimism: A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Ambulance: A vehicle used to show lawyers where the accident is.

Definitions

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, in addition to when it is removed.

Cooking Definitions