Subject: Definitions (Page 66)

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Adolescents: People who never seem to realize that one day they will be as dumb as their parents.

Age Definitions

Ache: Joint concern.

Body Definitions

Court Of Law: A place where a suit is pressed and a man maybe taken to the cleaners.

Definitions Law

Secret: Information you tell to one person at a time.

Definitions

Impotence: Emission impossible.

Definitions Sex

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language Law

Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

Definitions

Funeral: A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

Death Definitions

Current Events: Electric shocks.

Definitions

Alarm clock: An instrument used to wake up people who have no kids.

Children Definitions Family Things

Kiss: A course of procedure, cunningly devised, for the mutual stoppage of conversation when words are superfluous.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Definitions

Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.

Definitions People

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Quality of Life: What an industrialized nation is said to offer when enough of its citizens are suffering from terminal stress.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions Wordplay

Frisbeetarianism: The belief that, when you die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

Definitions

Puberty: The awkward age when a child is too old to say something cute and too young to say something sensible.

Age Definitions

Toastmaster: A gentleman who introduces a gentleman who needs no introduction.

Definitions

Diet: A brief period of starvation followed by a gain of five pounds.

Definitions Food/Drink

Umbilical Cord: Baby bungee.

Definitions