Subject: Definitions (Page 67)

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Invitro Fertilization: The innoculate conception.

Definitions

Glutton: A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink People

Cleavage: Something which excites disapproval in everyone but the audience.

Body Definitions

Interesting: A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

Communication Definitions Speech

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

Post Operative: Letter carrier

Definitions

Stroke-Of-Luck: Hole-in-One.

Definitions Golf Sports

Democracy: A system whereby the person who never votes can cuss out the man the other people elected.

Definitions Democracy Elections/Voting Government

X-Ray: A diagnostic tool used to detect existing cancerous growths and create new ones for future examinations to reveal.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Health

In Mexico, we have a word for sushi… bait.

(1945 – 2008) American comedian & musician
Definitions Food/Drink Places

Impotent: Willy-nilly.

Definitions Sex

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Intellectual: A guy who can keep his mind on a book at a beach.

Definitions People

Female: One who believes if you charge it, it’s not spending, and if you add a cherry to it, it’s not intoxicating.

Definitions People

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

Heredity: The thing a child gets from the other side of the family.

writer
Definitions Family

Scotsman: A man who, before sending his pajamas to the laundry, stuffs a sock in each pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Frugal Money People

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

Vasectomy: Never having to say you’re sorry.

Definitions

Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather