Subject: Definitions (Page 68)

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Tact: The ability to arrive at conclusions without expressing them.

Definitions

Bridge: A game in which a wife is always eager to do her husband’s bidding.

Activities Definitions Games

Fruitcake: The gift that keeps on giving.

Definitions

Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

Definitions

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Definitions

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old

Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Definitions

Adolescence: That period when children feel their parents should be told the facts of life.

Age Definitions

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

Amnesia: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Definitions

Consolation: The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Middle Age: That period in life when your idea of getting ahead is staying even.

Age Definitions

Chiropractor: A doctor who works his fingers to the bone… yours.

Definitions Doctors

Invitro Fertilization: The innoculate conception.

Definitions

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Age Definitions

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Definitions Places

Convent: A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the vice of idleness.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Children Definitions Family

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Discretion: A sense that comes to a man too late to do him any good.

Definitions

Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

Computers Definitions Things