Subject: Definitions (Page 68)

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Keepsake: Something given us by someone we’ve forgotten.

Definitions Things

Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world.

Definitions People

Bulletin: Your receipt for attending church services.

Definitions

Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.

Definitions Language

Chip Shot: A short, low approach shot that gets a player into position for one or more missed puts.

Definitions Golf Sports

Ignoramus: A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Cat: A pygmy lion who loathes mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Cats Definitions

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

Body Definitions Education School

Aborigines: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country.

Definitions People

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Dentures: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one's grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Recollect: To recall with additions something not previously known.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Memory

Brat: A child who displays his pest manners.

Definitions

Gluttony: A sign something is eating us.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Hospital Bed: A parked taxi with the meter running.

Definitions

Optometrist: A person you have to see.

Definitions Doctors

Argument: A discussion where two people try to get the last word in first

Definitions

Genetic Engineering: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo. –

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

America: A nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.

America Definitions Places

Dermatologist: Person who makes rash judgments.

Definitions Doctors Health

My definition of a redundancy is an air bag in a politician's car.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Definitions Government Politicians