Subject: Definitions (Page 68)

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After-Dinner Speaker: A fellow who rises to the occasion – and then stands too long.

Definitions

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Antiques: Furniture that is too old for poor folks but the right age for rich people.

Definitions

Saint: A dead sinner, revised and edited.

Definitions People

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

Definitions People

Diagnosis: A physician’s forecast of the disease by the patient’s pulse and purse.

Definitions Health

Enema: Not a friend.

Definitions

Linguist: A person who can be misunderstood in many languages.

Communication Definitions Language

Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Definitions Education

Juvenile Delinquents: Other people’s children.

Definitions

Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.

Definitions

Tube Dress: A dress which is an extended boob tube.

Clothing Definitions

Consultant: Someone who knows 101 ways to make love, but can’t get a date.

Definitions

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

Accordion: A pleated bagpipe.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things

Easy Payments: The ones that are easier said than done.

Definitions

Heredity: The bad traits a child gets from the other side of the family.

Definitions Family

Associate producer: Anybody who’s prepared to associate with a producer.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Definitions