Subject: Definitions (Page 69)

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Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Definitions Time

Groom: Least important member of wedding party, whose only duties are to show up on time, remember the ring, and try not to be drunk.

Definitions Husbands Marriage

Chatterbox: Another name for a telephone booth.

Definitions Things

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Definitions

Sleet: A slipcover.

Definitions Science/Weather

Horse: An oatsmobile.

Animals Definitions

Opening night: The night before the play is ready to open.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Definitions

Multitasking: Messing up several chores at the same time.

Activities Definitions

Profanity: The father tongue.

Communication Definitions Language Speech

Family Planning: Having all your children while their grandparents are still young enough to be babysitters.

Children Definitions Family

Grocery list: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Bankruptcy: A fate worse than debt.

Definitions Money

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Definitions

Ambulance: A vehicle used to show lawyers where the accident is.

Definitions

Advice: the smallest current coin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Reconsider: To seek a justification for a decision already made.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Durable Goods: Those that last longer than the time payments.

Definitions Things

Philosophers: People who talk about something they don’t understand, and make you think it’s your fault.

Definitions Intelligence People

Hypochondriac: Someone who enjoys bad health.

Definitions Health

Alphabet: A toy for children found in books, blocks, pictures, and some soup.

Communication Definitions Language

Executive Suite: A sugar daddy.

Definitions