Subject: Definitions (Page 69)

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Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Things

Yawn: An honest opinion openly expressed.

Definitions Opinion

Marriage ceremony: An incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family.

Definitions Marriage

Church: Man’s effort to keep a roof over God’s head.

Beliefs Definitions God

Bargain Hunter: One who is often led astray by false profits.

Activities Definitions Shopping

Contraceptives: What Protestants use on all conceivable occasions.

Definitions

District of Columbia: A territory bounded on all sides by the United States of America.

Definitions Places

Philosopher: One who, instead of crying over spilt milk, consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.

Definitions Occupations

Fine Print: A clause for suspicion.

Definitions

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

Doughnut: Holey food.

Definitions Food/Drink

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Gold Digger: A fund-loving girl.

Definitions

Parents: One of the hardships of a minor’s life.

Definitions Family Parents

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Death Definitions Language Money Wealth

Gimme: An agreement between two duffer golfers who can’t putt.

Definitions Golf Sports

Bus: A vehicle that runs faster when you run after it and runs slowly when you are inside it.

Definitions Driving

Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

Definitions Future Time