Subject: Definitions (Page 69)

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Neighbor: One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions People

Filing Cabinet: A place where you lose things alphabetically.

Definitions

Dog Pound: A used cur lot.

Definitions

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Definitions Golf Sports

Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.

Definitions

Insomnia: The inability to sleep even when it’s time to get up.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Famous Last Words: “This is easy.”

Death Definitions

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Fights Politics Time

Philosophers: People who talk about something they don’t understand, and make you think it’s your fault.

Definitions Intelligence People

Consultation: A medical term meaning “share the wealth.”

Definitions

Conference: A meeting at which people talk about what they should already be doing.

Definitions

Chicken: An egg factory.

Animals Definitions

Recount: In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Elections/Voting Government

Regret: Insight that comes a day too late.

Definitions

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

Engagement: The time a girl takes until she finds out if she can do any better.

Definitions Relationships

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Definitions Food/Drink