Subject: Definitions (Page 69)

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Motherhood: If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

Definitions

Footnote: Useless information placed where you can skip it.

Definitions

Monarch: A king with a good publicity man.

Definitions

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

Clique: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Sport: War without killing.

Definitions

Hula Dancer: A shake in the grass.

Definitions

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.

Definitions

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women

Travel Brochure: A trip teaser.

Definitions

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

Ad Hoc: Pawn shop advertisement.

Definitions

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

Definitions Entertainment Music

The Chinese food in China is not better than the Chinese food here, mostly because of differences of definitions of words that we have – like, for example, 'beef.'

(1960 – ) American comedian
Communication Definitions Food/Drink Language

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.

Definitions Future Time

Ability: What you have to get by on if you don’t kiss-up to the boss.

Definitions

Erudite: Exhibiting a degree of book learning fatal to success in any business or romantic enterprise.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Knitting: An exercise that gives women something to do when they are talking.

Activities Definitions

Telemarketer: A minimum waged person who calls a bunch of people on a list to sell them something that they probably don’t need, and gets hung up on because the person being called usually has a mouth full of food.

Definitions Occupations

Umbrella: A shelter for one and a shower for two.

Definitions Things