Subject: Definitions (Page 7)

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Military Expert: One who tells you what’s going to happen tomorrow – then tells you why it didn’t.

Definitions Government Military

Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning; old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Definitions Old

Philosophy: Common sense in a dress suit.

Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Ignoramus: A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Wisdom

Parking Space: An unoccupied place on the other side of the street.

Definitions

Book: What they make a movie out of for television.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Books Communication Definitions

Cleopatra: Queen of denial.

Definitions

Absurdity: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Opinion

Insanity: Knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.

Definitions

Oyster: A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Definitions

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

Definitions Food/Drink

Twins: Infant replay.

Children Definitions Family

Minor Operation: One performed on someone else.

Definitions Health

Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.

Definitions

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

Intuition: The sixth sense that allows a woman five wrong guesses.

Definitions Women

Boy: A noise with dirt on it.

Definitions People

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Anatomy: The belly of a very small insect.

Definitions Wordplay