Subject: Definitions (Page 70)

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Entrepreneur: What you’re called when you don’t have a job.

Definitions

Altar: Place where a man loses control of himself.

Definitions Marriage

Testosterone: Hormone which causes facial hair, muscularity, a deep voice, speeding tickets, the desire to watch professional wrestling, Arnold Shwarzenegger movies, war, fist fights, and the need to purchase cocktails for women with names like “Boom Boom. ”

Definitions Men

Innocent Bystander: A person so simple-minded he doesn’t know enough to get out of the way.

Definitions

Tricycle: A tot rod.

Definitions

Small Town: Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and all buy the weekly newspaper to see how much the editor dares to print.

Definitions Places

Communism: Nobody’s got nothin’, but everybody’s workin’.

Definitions

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

Politician: A fellow who borrows your pot in which to cook your goose.

Definitions Government Politicians

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

Litigant: A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

Definitions Law

Puttering: Woman’s word for man’s work.

Definitions

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions

Automated: A couple making love in a car.

Definitions

Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Language Learning

Deterrence: The art of producing, in the mind of the enemy, the fear to attack.

Definitions

Definition: A statement intended to put a word in its place.

Communication Definitions Language

Depression: A period in which you have no belt to tighten.

Definitions Frugal Money

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions