Subject: Definitions (Page 71)

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Ambassador: An honest man sent to lie abroad for the good of his country.

Definitions

Statesman: An ex-politician who has mastered the art of holding his tongue.

Communication Definitions Politicians Speech

Unimpeachable Source: The guy that started the rumor in the first place.

Definitions

Rejoinder: Married his ex.

Definitions Marriage

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

Death Definitions

Post Operative: Letter carrier

Definitions

Knitting: An exercise that gives women something to do when they are talking.

Activities Definitions

Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.

Definitions

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Ant: A small insect that, though always at work, still finds time to go to picnics.

Animals Definitions

User-Friendly: Of or pertaining to any feature, device or concept that makes perfect sense to its programmer.

Computers Definitions Things

Forty: The most difficult age for a woman to pass; it often takes years.

Age Definitions

Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Language Learning

Bookcase: A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and elvis collectibles.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Efficiency Expert: A man smart enough to tell you how to run your business and too smart to start his own.

Definitions

Deluxe: Mediocre in a big way.

Definitions

Chance: The pseudonym of God when he does not want to sign.

Definitions

Garden: Something that dies if you don’t water it, and rots if you do.

Definitions

Alimony: The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Definitions Marriage