Subject: Definitions (Page 71)

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Honesty: The fear of being caught.

Characteristics Definitions

Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.

Communication Definitions Speech

Courage: Fear in action.

Definitions

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.

Definitions

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Middle age: When a woman’s hair starts turning from gray to black.

Age Appearance Definitions Hair

Tears: Remorse code.

Definitions Wordplay

False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.

Definitions

Colleague: The person to whom one passes the buck.

Definitions

Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Definitions Family

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Definitions Science/Weather Taxes

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

Income: The sum of money which it costs more than to live.

Definitions Money

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

Egotism: An anesthetic that nature gives to a man to deaden the pain of being a darn fool.

Definitions

Domestic Harmony: Music produced only if the husband plays second fiddle.

Definitions Marriage

Unwed Mother: One who helps perpetuate the genes of an unwed father, without the latter’s talent for becoming invisible at will.

Definitions Family