Subject: Definitions (Page 72)

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State-of-the-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Bill Collector: A man whom few care to see but many ask to call again.

Definitions

Zoo: A place of refuge where wild animals are protected from people.

Animals Definitions Places

Siamese Twins: First person plural.

Definitions People

Honeymoon: The vacation a man takes before starting to work for a new boss.

Definitions Marriage

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,876 times a day.

Definitions

Definition of a Jewish nymphomaniac: A woman who will make love the same day she has her hair done.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Definitions Sex Women

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Money Things

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Speech

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old

Negotiating: The art of persuading your opponent to take the nice shiny copper penny and give you the wrinkled old paper money.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Money

Acrimony: The holy state of being married.

Definitions Marriage

Newspaper: A publication that condemns gambling and promotes lottery numbers.

Definitions

Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife.

Definitions Women

Donation: A country full of female deer.

Definitions

Afterthought: A tardy sense of prudence that prompts one to try to shut his mouth about the time he has put his foot in it.

Definitions

Government Bureau: Where the taxpayer’s shirt is kept.

Definitions Government Taxes