Subject: Definitions (Page 72)

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Flatterer: One who says things to your face that he wouldn’t say behind your back.

Definitions

Dictatorship: A system of government where everything that isn’t forbidden is obligatory.

Definitions Government

Falsies: A hope chest.

Body Clothing Definitions

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

English Channel: The BBC.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Hero: One who is afraid to run away.

Definitions

Daughter: A person who Dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who Mom is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her.

Definitions Family

Double Jeopardy: When your doctor calls in a consulting physician.

Definitions Doctors Health

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

(1895 – 1979) American archbishop of the Catholic Church
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Acupuncture: A jab well done.

Definitions

Heir Fare: Executor’s fee.

Definitions Wordplay

Flirt: A girl who got the boy you wanted.

Definitions

Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Art Definitions

Banquet: A fifty-cent dinner served in sufficient quantity to enable a caterer to charge twenty dollars for it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Neighbors: The only people who listen to both sides of an argument.

Definitions People

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it.

Definitions Food/Drink

Drug: A substance that, when injected into a guinea pig, produces a scientific paper.

Activities Definitions Drugs Science/Weather

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

Groan: An expression of appreciation for the horrible.

Communication Definitions Speech