Subject: Definitions (Page 74)

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Bulletin: Your receipt for attending church services.

Definitions

Epigram: A wisecrack that played Carnegie Hall.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Definitions Language

Bore: A person who deprives you with solitude without providing company.


Definitions People

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

Internship: A sleepless ordeal imposed on young M.D.’s for the purpose of weeding out the weak and infirm among them, and eroding the health of the survivors sufficiently to ensure better empathy in the years to come.

Definitions Doctors

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

Definitions Doctors Health

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Animals Definitions

Garage: An attic on a lower level.

Definitions

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

Acupuncture: A jab well done.

Definitions

Reparation: Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Money

Skeptic: One who won’t take know for an answer.

Definitions People

Florists: Petal pushers.

Definitions

Astronomer: Night watchman.

Definitions Occupations

Statistician: A person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.

Definitions Occupations

Auction: A place where, if you aren’t careful, you’ll get something for nodding.

Definitions

Detour: The roughest distance between two points.

Activities Definitions Travel

Suntan: A pigment of your imagination.

Definitions

Conference: A meeting at which people talk about what they should already be doing.

Definitions