Subject: Definitions (Page 75)

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Sunburn: Getting what you basked for.

Definitions

Sarong: A simple garment carrying the implicit promise that it will not long stay in place.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Creditor: A man who has a better memory than a debtor.

Definitions

Coach: A fellow who will gladly lay down your life for the school.

Definitions

Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.

Definitions Time Work

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Definitions Money

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions

Twins: Womb-mates.

Definitions

Flirt: A girl who got the boy you wanted.

Definitions

Ability: What you have to get by on if you don’t kiss-up to the boss.

Definitions

Engagement: The time a girl takes until she finds out if she can do any better.

Definitions Relationships

Teenagers: Those old enough to know everything.

Age Definitions

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Balanced Diet: A cookie in each hand.

Definitions

Diet: A system of starving yourself to death so you can live a little longer.

Definitions Food/Drink

Beauty: The power with which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Appearance Definitions

Telemarketer: A minimum waged person who calls a bunch of people on a list to sell them something that they probably don’t need, and gets hung up on because the person being called usually has a mouth full of food.

Definitions Occupations

Celebrity: A person whose name is in everything but the telephone book.

Definitions