Subject: Definitions (Page 75)

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Blushing: The color of virtue.

Definitions

Lawyer: One skilled in circumvention of the law.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Law

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions

Statistician: A person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.

Definitions Occupations

Mouth: In man, the gateway to the soul; in woman, the outlet of the heart.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Clothing Communication Definitions Language

Disinheritance: Heir cut.

Definitions

Awe: Wow of silence.

Definitions

Dog: The only friend you can buy for money.

Animals Definitions Dogs

Redneck: Popular term for a rustic male, but rarely employed when addressing one in person.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Angler: A man who spends rainy days sitting around on the muddy banks of rivers doing nothing because his wife won’t let him do it at home.

Activities Definitions

Courtesy: Acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

Bad Driver: The person you run into.

Autos Definitions Things

Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

Specialist: A man who knows more and more about less and less.

Definitions

Propaganda: Baloney disguised as food for thought.

Definitions Wordplay

Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

Neighbors: People who live near you, who are never around when you need to borrow power tools or jumper cables, but who are everywhere when you are having a heated argument with your spouse.

Definitions People

Death: To stop sinning suddenly.

Death Definitions

Group Discussion: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions