Subject: Definitions (Page 76)

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Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions Relationships

Dna: A complex organic molecule characterized as the building block of life and appropriately shaped like a spiral staircase to nowhere.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Puritan: A person who pours righteous indignation into the wrong things.

Definitions

Friend: Someone who thinks you’re a good egg even though you’re slightly cracked.

Definitions Friends People

Gossip: One with a keen sense of rumor.

Definitions

Phillips Screwdriver: Used  to round off Phillips screw heads.

Definitions Things

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

American Way: Using instant coffee to dawdle away an hour.

Definitions

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

Cleopatra: Queen of denial.

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Lecher: A stud with liver spots.

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Diaper: A changeable seat cover.

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Desire: The thing that is so often nipped in the budget.

Definitions Emotions

Hospitality: The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

Definitions

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Diplomat: A person who can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.

Definitions

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

Experience: What causes a person to make new mistakes instead of the same old ones.

Definitions Mistakes

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Righteous Indignation: Your own wrath, as opposed to the shocking bad temper of others.

Anger Definitions Emotions

Liberal: One who tolerates all beliefs and opinions except those with which he disagrees.

Beliefs Definitions