Subject: Definitions (Page 76)

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Genius: One who can do almost anything except make a living.

Definitions Intelligence

Courtesy: Acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

Wife Swapping: Sexual fourplay.

Definitions Marriage Sex Wordplay

Cantaloupe: Gotta get married in a church.

Definitions Marriage

Window Screen: A device for keeping flies in the house.

Definitions Things

Future: That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Future Time

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

Woman: A person who needs a shoe larger on the inside than outside.

Definitions People

Bisexual: A person who pays for sex.

Definitions

Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Individuals Language

Genetic Engineering: Tampering with chromosomes so that science might develop a new miracle cure or a rabbit that plays the banjo. –

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Science/Weather

Budget: An attempt to live below your yearnings.

Definitions

Butt: The body part that every item of clothing makes “look bigger.”

Appearance Body Definitions

Bugs: Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls.

Animals Definitions

Borrower: A person who always wants to be left a loan.

Definitions

Heirloom: Some old thing nobody liked well enough to wear out.

Definitions Things

Cabinet Maker: Counter fitter.

Definitions Occupations

Shoplifting: Free enterprise.

Conflict Crime Definitions

Disneyland: A people trap operated by a mouse.

Definitions

Zeal: A nervous disorder affecting the young and inexperienced.

Characteristics Definitions

Oratory: The art of making deep noises from the chest sound like important messages from the brain.

Communication Definitions Speech