Subject: Definitions (Page 76)

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Conference: A meeting at which people talk about what they should already be doing.

Definitions

Aground: When a boat makes the discovery that all water has land under it.

Definitions

Analysis: An excuse to take something to pieces to see how it works.

Definitions

State-Of-The-Art: Soon-to-be-obsolete.

Definitions

Apology: Politeness too late.

Definitions

Spanking: Stern punishment.

Definitions

Antibody: Against everyone.

Definitions Wordplay

Bureaucracy: A system that enables ten men to do the work of one.

Definitions Government

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Patience: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Definitions Occupations

Price: Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

Abdicate: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Body Definitions

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Tavern: Thirst come, thirst served.

Definitions Food/Drink

Gimme: An agreement between two duffer golfers who can’t putt.

Definitions Golf Sports

Will: A dead giveaway.

Death Definitions

Borrower: A person who always wants to be left a loan.

Definitions

Silence: Having nothing to say and saying it.

Communication Definitions Situations Speech

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

Accordion: A pleated bagpipe.

Definitions Entertainment Music Things