Subject: Definitions (Page 76)

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Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.

Definitions

Adolescence: The age between puberty and adultery.

Age Definitions Sex

Diplomat: A fellow who prefers ironing out his differences to flattening his opponent.

Definitions

Amnesia: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Definitions

Jealousy: The tribute mediocrity pays to genius.

Characteristics Definitions

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

Queen: A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government People

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

Compromise: A deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted.

Definitions

Middle Age: When your age starts to show around your middle the art of raising eyebrows instead of the roof. 

Age Definitions

American Language: English run over by a musical comedy.

Communication Definitions

Diet Planner: A fast talker.

Definitions

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Love: The triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Definitions Emotions Love

Delegation: In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Government Language

Unimpeachable Source: The guy that started the rumor in the first place.

Definitions

Optimist: Someone who tells you to cheer up when things are going his way.

Definitions

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

Commerce: A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Money

My definition of a redundancy is an air bag in a politician's car.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Definitions Government Politicians