Subject: Definitions (Page 77)

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Necktie: A decorative noose worn by businessmen.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Clothing Definitions

Quiet: A state of household serenity which occurs before the birth of the first child and occurs again after the last child has left for college.

Children Definitions Family

Experience: What you get from being inexperienced.

Definitions

Voting: A process of standing in line for the opportunity to help decide which party will spend your money.

Definitions

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Intelligence Language

Heredity: The thing a child gets from the other side of the family.

writer
Definitions Family

Guilt: The gift that keeps on giving.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Characteristics Definitions

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

Eskimos: God’s frozen people.

Definitions People

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Definitions Divorce Marriage

Arsonist: A person who sets the world on fire… at least in a small way.

Definitions

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Bored: To attend meetings.

Definitions

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Definitions Marriage

Accordian: An instrument inharmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music

Sweater: Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Appearance Clothing Definitions

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

Definitions Wordplay

Dna: A complex organic molecule characterized as the building block of life and appropriately shaped like a spiral staircase to nowhere.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.

Definitions