Subject: Definitions (Page 77)

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Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

Denial: How an optimist keeps from becoming a pessimist.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions

Woman: A creature who is either making a fool out of man, or making a man out of a fool.

Definitions People

Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

My definition of a redundancy is an air bag in a politician's car.

(1931– 2012) American actor, producer & director
Definitions Government Politicians

Wagging Tail: A happy ending.

Definitions

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Heredity: What a man believes in until his son begins to behave like a delinquent.

Definitions Family

Contempt: The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Adolescent: One who is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Definitions

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

Innocent Bystander: A person so simple-minded he doesn’t know enough to get out of the way.

Definitions

Miracle: An event described by those to whom it was told by men who did not see it.  

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Definitions

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

Definitions Golf Sports

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

Definitions Places

Brat: A child who displays his pest manners.

Definitions

Small Town: A place where everybody knows the troubles you’ve seen.

Definitions Places

Eccentric: A man too rich to be called crazy.

Definitions People

Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Definitions