Subject: Definitions (Page 77)

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Income Tax: The entry fee for the rat race.

Definitions Government Taxes

Florists: Petal pushers.

Definitions

American Language: English run over by a musical comedy.

Communication Definitions

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions

Contempt: The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Modesty: Being comfortable that others will soon discover your greatness.

Definitions Self

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Definitions Marriage

Venereal Disease: Germs of endearment.

Definitions Health

Ache: Joint concern.

Body Definitions

Brothel: Home is where the tart is.

Definitions

Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Communication Definitions

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Cats Communication Definitions Language

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Definitions People

Saint: A dead sinner, revised and edited.

Definitions People

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

Engagement: The time a girl takes until she finds out if she can do any better.

Definitions Relationships

Consultant: Someone who borrows your watch then tells you what time it is.

Definitions

Judge: A law student who grades his own papers.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Definitions Law

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money

Respirator: An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth… whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Things