Subject: Definitions (Page 77)

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Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Children Definitions Education

Yardstick: One foot on each side and one in the middle.

Definitions

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

Argument: A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but the other person hasn’t realized it yet.

Definitions

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth, about someone.

Communication Definitions

Craze: The other guy’s hobby.

Definitions

Morality: An instinctive sense of right and wrong that tells some people how everyone else should behave.

Beliefs Definitions Honesty

Apex: A gorilla’s old girlfriend.

Definitions Wordplay

Bigamist: A man who marries a beautiful girl and a good cook.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Learning: The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Language Learning

Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world.

Definitions People

Consultant: Someone who borrows your watch then tells you what time it is.

Definitions

Niagara Falls: The bride’s second great disappointment.

Definitions Places Sex

Organic Farm: Tilling like it is.

Definitions

Chivalry: The attitude of a man toward somebody else’s wife.

Definitions

Epitaph: A monumental lie.

Death Definitions

Bachelor: A man who can get out of bed from either side.

Definitions Marriage Men People

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Definitions Food/Drink

Nepotism: Putting on heirs.

Definitions Family