Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Definitions
(Page 8)
View All Definitions
Karma: Justice without the feeling of satisfaction.
Anonymous
Definitions
Karma
Take: To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Situations
Take
Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Sarcasm
Cricket: A game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sports
Cricket
Sterilize: What you do to your baby’s first pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it on your shirt.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Babies
Sterilize
Civilization: A process whereby one generation finds the questions to the previous generation’s answers.
Anonymous
Definitions
Civilization
Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Definitions
Fat
Wordplay
Obesity
Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Anonymous
Definitions
Education
Vaccination: An ouch of prevention.
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Vaccination
Advice: the smallest current coin.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication
Definitions
Language
Opinion
Advice
Mugger: A benevolent citizen of the streets who frequently spares the lives of total strangers in exchange for any cash and valuables in their possession.
Crime
Definitions
Mugger
Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Good Neighbor
Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.
Anonymous
Definitions
Money
Deficit
Clever Woman: One who knows how to give a man her own way.
Anonymous
Definitions
Clever Woman
Funeral: A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
Anonymous
Death
Definitions
Funeral
Dating: An elaborate prelude to mating that fulfills much the same function as the sniffing ritual in dogs, but without its forthright honesty.
Anonymous
Dating
Definitions
Relationships
Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Teenagers
Karaoke: Japanese for “Drunk with Microphone.”
Anonymous
Definitions
Entertainment
Karaoke
Bald: When one has less hair to comb but more face to wash.
Anonymous
Appearance
Definitions
Bald
Hair
Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Taxes
Taxation
Spinster: An unlusted number.
Anonymous
Definitions
People
Women
Spinster
Page 8 of 78
« First
« Previous
6
7
8
9
10
Next »
Last »