Subject: Definitions (Page 8)

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Accident: When presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better.

Accidents Definitions Problems

A man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Definitions People

Younger Generation: A group that is alike in many disrespects.

Age Definitions People Young

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage

Reconsider: To seek a justification for a decision already made.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Intelligence Thinking

Diet: Something you keep putting off while you keep putting on.

Definitions Food/Drink

Fad: Something that goes in one era and out the other.

Definitions

Rummage Sale: Where you buy stuff from somebody else’s attic to store in your own.

Activities Definitions Shopping Things

Father: A guy who is working his child’s way through college.

Definitions Family Fathers

Babysitter: A teenager you pay $7 an hour to eat $20 worth of snacks.

Definitions

Amusement Park: A walled city populated mainly by teenagers, who willingly pay to have their bodies and brains agitated on a variety of fiendish contraptions designed to induce vomiting.

Definitions

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

Democracy: A system whereby the person who never votes can cuss out the man the other people elected.

Definitions Democracy Elections/Voting Government

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

Definitions

Consolation: The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Chauffeur: A man who is smart enough to operate an automobile, but clever enough not to own one.

Autos Definitions Things

Farm: A hunk of land on which, if you get up early enough mornings and work late enough nights, you’ll make a fortune – if you strike oil on it.

(1896 – 1988) American actor
Definitions TV/Movie Quotes

Insanity: Knowing that what you’re doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can’t stop it.

Definitions

Abash: A high school graduation party.

Definitions

Bookie: A pickpocket who lets you use your own hands.

Definitions

Intimacy: A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Fools