Subject: Definitions (Page 8)

View All Definitions

Luck: The thing that draws us for jury duty, but never for the lottery.

Definitions

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

Amnesty: The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

Definitions

Armadillo: Possum on the half shell.

Animals Definitions

Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your own way.

Definitions

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so you can die rich.

Definitions Money

Intuition: The strange instinct that tells a woman she is right whether she is or not.

Definitions Women

Bigamist: A man who marries a beautiful girl and a good cook.

Definitions Marriage Wives

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Necking: A passion fancy.

Definitions

Two-minute warning: When your baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Definitions

Academy Awards: A place where everyone lets off esteem.

Definitions

Business Forecaster: A person who is uncertain about the future and hazy about the present.

Definitions

Testosterone: Hormone which causes facial hair, muscularity, a deep voice, speeding tickets, the desire to watch professional wrestling, Arnold Shwarzenegger movies, war, fist fights, and the need to purchase cocktails for women with names like “Boom Boom. ”

Definitions Men

Gluttony: A sign something is eating us.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Neurotic: A person who, when you ask how she is, tells you.

Definitions People

Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Definitions Education

Antique: Something too old to be anything but too expensive.

Definitions Things

Thanks: A down payment on the next favor.

Definitions