Subject: Education » Learning

Ah, well… we live and learn, or, anyway, we live.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

The only problem with learning by experience is that you get the test before the lesson.


Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.

We all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

You're looking at a very proud Canadian who is very proud of the educational system in Canadia.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

When I was at school I was great at history… oh wait, no I wasn't.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

I took a positive thinking course… it was shit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra; in real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted.


Learn of the skillful; he that teaches himself, has a fool for his master.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

What we learn after we know it all, is what counts.

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet

The best classroom of all times was about two car lengths behind Juan Manuel Fangio.

(1929 – ) English race car driver

He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may become at sixty as wise as he thought himself at twenty.

(1880 – ?) American author

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher

It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.

(1930 – 2013) American baseball manager