Subject: Education (Page 10)

Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Education Learning

When I was in college, we did mushrooms and acid… and did I mention acid?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Activities Drugs School

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Age Education School

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Education Learning School

If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Education School Sports

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Education School

If lessons are learned in defeat, as they say, our team is really getting a great education.

American football coach
Education Football Sports

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

1. That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly 2. If at first you don’t succeed, you will never succeed.

Education Murphy’s Laws Success

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard and earned an online college degree.

Animals Dogs Education

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Education School

The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American football coach
Activities Education Football Misspokements School Sports

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over?… movie day

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Education Entertainment Film

He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Education Insults Learning

Professor: A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor.

Definitions Education

“The top half of the students are well-educated, the bottom half receive extra help, but the middle half we are leaving out.”

Education Headlines