Subject: Education (Page 10)

Education: A technique employed to open minds so that they may go from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Definitions Education

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Education Football Sports

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education England Places School

The specialist learns more and more about less and less until, finally, he knows everything about nothing; whereas the generalist learns less and less about more and more until, finally, he knows nothing about everything.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education Sex Young

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

The more trivial your research, the more people will read it and agree.
Corollary: The more vital your research, the less people will understand it.

Education Murphy’s Laws

We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Characteristics Education Learning Problems Time

“The top half of the students are well-educated, the bottom half receive extra help, but the middle half we are leaving out.”

Education Headlines

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had… so he sent me to a girls school.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education Fathers School

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Definitions Education

A self-made man is one who believes in luck and sends his son to Oxford.

(1902 – 1983) Australian novelist & short-story writer
Education Success

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication School Speech

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Education Learning

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

He reminds me of the kid in fifth grade who reminded the teacher she forgot to give the homework.

writer & comedian
People School

My recipe for bad grades: don't study.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Education School

The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.

American stand-up comedian
Education School

He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may become at sixty as wise as he thought himself at twenty.

(1880 – ?) American author
Education Intelligence Learning Wisdom

I was the only black in every class; hard to be absent.

(1969 – ) American comedian & actor
Education