Subject: Education (Page 11)

Collegians Are Turning To Vegetables

Headlines School

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over?… movie day

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Education Entertainment Film

director I spent four years in college but I didn’t learn a thing; i was really my own fault… I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.

(1979 – ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Communication Education Wordplay

Education: One of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Definitions Education

Lecture: A process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the student, without passing through the minds of either.

Definitions Education School

If you can't learn to do it well, you should learn to enjoy doing it badly.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws Success

If we keep on learning at this rate well soon know nothing at all.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Mothers People Rednecks School

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Communication Education Language Learning Places

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Education Life

Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Children Education Learning School

Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income… which he then spends sending his son to college.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Education Money School

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Education School Sex

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Communication School Speech

Education is the process of moving from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Education Murphy’s Laws

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

(1888 – 1964) American folklorist, writer & newspaper columnist
Education Ideas Intelligence School

Learn to be sincere, even if you have to fake it.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Education