Subject: Education (Page 13)

If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract – teach him to deduct.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Education Future Learning

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Ideas Intelligence

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Education Law Money School

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors School

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Learning Memory School

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease; it made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Education

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Fools Intelligence Wisdom

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge… others only gargle.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student; at least they can find Kuwait.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Education Intelligence Learning

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

Interviewer: Auburn is a pretty good school; to graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.

(1882 – 1950) American attorney, politician, liberal activist & actor
Education Learning

Dan Quayle is going around the country giving C students a bad name.

American comedian, writer, producer & actor
Education TV/Movie Quotes

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the fifth grade as “my senior year.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education People Rednecks School

When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family Parents Reading/Writing School

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

(1918 – 2002) advice columnist
Education Learning

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.

Age Children Family Learning

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Age Education

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports