Subject: Education (Page 2)

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Communication School Speech

I spent three of the happiest years of my life in the fifth grade.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School TV/Movie Quotes

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Education Life

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

Men are like textbooks: you have to spend a lot of time between the covers to gain a small amount of satisfaction.

Books Education Men People Reading/Writing

The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.

American stand-up comedian
Education School

Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Education Money School

Collegians Are Turning To Vegetables

Headlines School

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Education School

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

He who devotes sixteen hours a day to hard study may become at sixty as wise as he thought himself at twenty.

(1880 – ?) American author
Education Intelligence Learning Wisdom

They say you never forget your first school teacher, I had mine like 4 years in a row… I was dating her by the time I got out of that joint.

American actor & stand-up comedian
Education

If law school is so hard to get through… how come there are so many lawyers?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education Government Law Lawyers School

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats Education Learning People

He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Education Insults Learning

I never could make out what those damned dots meant.

(1911 – 1968) British politician & son of Prime Minister Winston Churchill
Education Learning

 This job is better than I could get if I used my college degree, which, at this point, I can't remember what it was in.

professional football player
Education Football Misspokements Sports