Subject: Education (Page 3)

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R’s only one begins with an ‘R.’

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Education Learning

Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Definitions Education

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian
Education School Science/Weather

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Education Intelligence Misspokements Places World

He’s like the first guy, like, from my reading level, you know — the first guy, like, from my math class to finally go out and do something!

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Success

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Education Law Money School

If we really learned from our past mistakes, most of us would never get out of bed in the morning.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Education History Learning Mistakes

Democracy means government by the uneducated, while aristocracy means government by the badly educated.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Democracy Education Government

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Mothers People Rednecks School

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Conflict Education School

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Death Fathers School Situations

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

For every person wishing to teach, there are thirty not wanting to be taught.

(1898 – 1951) Scottish humorist
Education Learning

Education is the process of moving from cocksure ignorance to thoughtful uncertainty.

Education Murphy’s Laws

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
America Emotions Fear Government School

The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws

I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia; not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.


(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion
Education Health Learning School

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Education School