Subject: Education (Page 3)

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Education Learning

If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted.


Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

(1888 – 1964) American folklorist, writer & newspaper columnist
Education Ideas Intelligence School

 This job is better than I could get if I used my college degree, which, at this point, I can't remember what it was in.

professional football player
Education Football Misspokements Sports

Dad taught me everything I know; unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.

(1962 – ) American race car driver
Education Family Fathers Learning

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge… others only gargle.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

Genitals are a great distraction to scholarship.

(1932 – 2000) English author & academic
Education Learning Sex

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R’s only one begins with an ‘R.’

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Education Learning

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

Education Insults

A diploma only proves that you know how to look up an answer.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Education School

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Education Religion

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Education

If law school is so hard to get through… how come there are so many lawyers?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education Government Law Lawyers School

The amount of education you have determines your loot in life.

Education Malaprops