Subject: Education (Page 6)

Men are like textbooks: you have to spend a lot of time between the covers to gain a small amount of satisfaction.

Books Education Men People Reading/Writing

We learn something every day, and lots of times it’s that what we learned the day before was wrong.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Characteristics Education Learning Problems Time

If we keep on learning at this rate well soon know nothing at all.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning

I failed math so many times in school, I can’t even count.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Education School

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Education Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

For every person wishing to teach, there are thirty not wanting to be taught.

(1898 – 1951) Scottish humorist
Education Learning

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Education School

I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia; not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.


(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion
Education Health Learning School

I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.

American basketball player
Education Intelligence Misspokements School

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Education Occupations Sleep

Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.

professional basketball player
Education Misspokements School

Being dead is one way to experience nothing, another is to attend some classes at my school.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Death Education School

The best classroom of all times was about two car lengths behind Juan Manuel Fangio.

(1929 – ) English race car driver
Auto racing Education Learning Sports

In school, every period ends with a bell… every sentence ends with a period… every crime ends with a sentence.


Education School

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Age Education School

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Animals Children Dogs Learning

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student; at least they can find Kuwait.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
Education Intelligence Learning

I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked smart and I'm like, huh?… I didn't go to Harvard; I went to Lens Crafters.

comedian
Education Intelligence

1. The more general the title of a course, the less you will learn from it. 2. The more specific a title is, the less you will be able to apply it.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education Entertainment Money