Subject: Education (Page 6)

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Education Sex

There is no direct relationship between the quality of an educational program and its cost.

Education Money Murphy’s Laws

Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, it was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.

American basketball player
Education Intelligence Misspokements School

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Our school color was manila.

comedian
Education School

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R’s only one begins with an ‘R.’

(1953 – ) comedian, political commentator and television & radio personality
Education Learning

A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Education Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Education Learning

Ah, well… we live and learn, or, anyway, we live.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Death Education Learning

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Children Communication Education Family Speech

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1919 – 2000) Canadian prime minister & politician
Communication School Speech

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had… so he sent me to a girls school.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education Fathers School

I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts – Do You Want Fries With That?

Education Signs

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

(1803 – 1869) French Romantic composer
Education Life Time

Being in politics is like being a football coach: you have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it’s important.

Education Government Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Politics Sports

College is great; it’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents… and bounce it.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Money Poverty

If you can't learn to do it well, you should learn to enjoy doing it badly.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws Success

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

Education Murphy’s Laws School