Subject: Education (Page 7)

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Computers Dogs School Things

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American football coach
Activities Education Football Misspokements School Sports

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge… others only gargle.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Children Education Family Intelligence Speech

College: A four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

Definitions Education School

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Beliefs Education Religion

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Animals Children Dogs Learning

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

The best classroom of all times was about two car lengths behind Juan Manuel Fangio.

(1929 – ) English race car driver
Auto racing Education Learning Sports

There’s always one teacher you had a crush on; for me, it’s my wife’s aerobics instructor.

comedian
Education Relationships

[Caddyshack] was a six-million-dollar scholarship to film school.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
Education Entertainment Film

You might be a redneck if… your school fight song is Dueling Banjos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks School

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology… the study of milkmen.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Education

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication School Speech

I never graduated from Iowa. I was only there for two terms – Truman's and Eisenhower's.

(1935 – 2012) American football player, sports announcer & actor
Education School

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I have never been jealous; not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Education Fathers School

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Education Occupations Sleep

I was the only black in every class; hard to be absent.

(1969 – ) American comedian & actor
Education

What men learn from history is that men do not learn from history.

Education History Learning Murphy’s Laws People Time

The total attention paid to an instructor is a constant regardless of the size of the class.

Education Murphy’s Laws School