Subject: Education (Page 9)

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence School

I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to read Jane Austen, and then I didn’t.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Education Learning

Some folks are so highly educated they can bore you on any subject.

Education

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Education

College is great; it’s the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents… and bounce it.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Education Money Poverty

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Education Entertainment Reading/Writing Television

Football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Education Football Sports

When I was in college, we did mushrooms and acid… and did I mention acid?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Activities Drugs School

We’re going to have the best-educated American people in the world.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
America Education Intelligence Misspokements Places World

“The top half of the students are well-educated, the bottom half receive extra help, but the middle half we are leaving out.”

Education Headlines

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

I had a terrible education… I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education School

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Ideas Intelligence

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

Body Definitions Education School

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Learning Politicians

If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Education School Sports

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Education School

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.

Age Children Family Learning

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors School

I started wearing glasses, and people started saying I looked smart and I'm like, huh?… I didn't go to Harvard; I went to Lens Crafters.

comedian
Education Intelligence