Subject: Education (Page 9)

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

If you think that education is expensive, try ignorance.

(1930 – ) American lawyer & educator
Education Intelligence Money

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Education Murphy’s Laws Places School

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

(1922 – 2007) American novelist
America Emotions Fear Government School

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge… others only gargle.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education

The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws

An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease; it made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Education

If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted.


Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Appearance Clothing Education People

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public; they can learn in private; in public they have to know.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Learning Men People

Dan Quayle is going around the country giving C students a bad name.

American comedian, writer, producer & actor
Education TV/Movie Quotes

A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study.

Education Learning Proverbs

I'm from one of those places where the whole number system consists of one, two and a shitload.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Education Places

College seems like a pretty expensive way to become an alcoholic.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Education School

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Characteristics Education Learning

The amount of education you have determines your loot in life.

Education Malaprops

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

(1980 – ) cartoonist
Education School Things