Subject: Education » School (Page 2)

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

Being dead is one way to experience nothing, another is to attend some classes at my school.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Death Education School

Can’t anything be done about calling these guys student athletes? … That’s like referring to Attila the Hun’s cavalry as “weekend warriors.”

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education People School Sports

The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

(1888 – 1964) American folklorist, writer & newspaper columnist
Education Ideas Intelligence School

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

She was old too, when she went to school they didn’t have history.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Age Education History Old School Time

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American basketball coach & executive
Education Football School Sports

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Education Murphy’s Laws Places School

If you're confident after you've just finished an exam, it's because you don't know enough to know better.

Education Intelligence Murphy’s Laws School

Class schedules are designed so that every student will have time to waste between classes.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

I stopped telling people I didn't attend college when it suddenly dawned on me that no one was particularly surprised.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Education School

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Education School

I have never been jealous; not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Education Fathers School

After I failed my second test, I grabbed my teacher by the front of the shirt and said “Are you ‘trying’ to keep this shit a secret?”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Education School

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Education Learning School

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School