Subject: Education » School (Page 2)

I hated Geography… because it’s just like History… except without people and dates.

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Education History School Time

When I went to school, sex education was mainly muttered warnings about the janitor.

(1972 – ) Scottish comedian
Education School Sex

Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.

professional basketball player
Education Misspokements School

College: A four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

Definitions Education School

Interviewer: Auburn is a pretty good school; to graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep?”

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Education School

If you're confident after you've just finished an exam, it's because you don't know enough to know better.

Education Intelligence Murphy’s Laws School

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports

If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Education School Sports

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

Education School

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication School Speech

The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.

American stand-up comedian
Education School

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

(1919 – 1991) American comedian & actor
Education Marriage School

Sex doesn’t have to be taught; it’s something most of us are born with.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
School Sex

In school, every period ends with a bell… every sentence ends with a period… every crime ends with a sentence.


Education School

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Mothers People Rednecks School