Subject: Education » School (Page 3)

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Computers Dogs School Things

Class schedules are designed so that every student will have time to waste between classes.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Mothers People Rednecks School

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Education Money School

Lecture: A process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the student, without passing through the minds of either.

Definitions Education School

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American basketball coach & executive
Education Football School Sports

Graduate school: The place where a young scholar goes off their parents’ payroll – and on to their spouse’s.

Education School

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education England Places School

The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.

American stand-up comedian
Education School

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Education Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws School Stupidity

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Food/Drink School

When I was in college, we did mushrooms and acid… and did I mention acid?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Activities Drugs School

My recipe for bad grades: don't study.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Education School

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Education Learning School

I failed math so many times in school, I can’t even count.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Education School

I had a terrible education… I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education School

All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

Can’t anything be done about calling these guys student athletes? … That’s like referring to Attila the Hun’s cavalry as “weekend warriors.”

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education People School Sports