Subject: Education » School (Page 3)

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Computers Dogs School Things

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Food/Drink School

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Learning Memory School

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Education School

College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep?”

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Education School

Class schedules are designed so that every student will have time to waste between classes.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

He reminds me of the kid in fifth grade who reminded the teacher she forgot to give the homework.

writer & comedian
People School

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Conflict Education School

A statesman is any politician it’s considered safe to name a school after.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Education Government People School

Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers; my opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.


Communication Education Reading/Writing School

In your toughest final – for the first time all year – the most distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

You might be a redneck if… your school fight song is Dueling Banjos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks School

Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.

professional basketball player
Education Misspokements School

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Death Fathers School Situations

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs Education School