Subject: Education » School (Page 3)

College was like a four-year game show called “Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep?”

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Education School

If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
Education School

When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Education Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Education School Work

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education Food/Drink School

We all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Education Learning Life School

Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Children Education Learning School

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the fifth grade as “my senior year.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education People Rednecks School

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Age Education School

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Education Murphy’s Laws Places School

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Education Learning School

When I was in college, we did mushrooms and acid… and did I mention acid?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Activities Drugs School

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

Teaching Latin to someone like me in high school was somewhat like trying to teach a pig to dance; it’s a waste of the teacher’s time and it irritates the pig.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Education School

After I failed my second test, I grabbed my teacher by the front of the shirt and said “Are you ‘trying’ to keep this shit a secret?”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Education School

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education England Places School

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Education Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws School Stupidity

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School