Subject: Education » School (Page 3)

A statesman is any politician it’s considered safe to name a school after.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Education Government People School

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

(1941 – ) American singer & songwriter
Death Education School

Interviewer: Did you graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Learning Memory School

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.

American football coach
Activities Education Football Misspokements School Sports

If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Education School Sports

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors School

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

Hedda Hopper: How do you know so much about men?

West: Baby, I went to night school.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Education Men People School

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

You might be a redneck if… your school fight song is Dueling Banjos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks School

Lecture: A process by which the notes of the professor become the notes of the student, without passing through the minds of either.

Definitions Education School

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Education Money School

If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
Education School

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia; not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.


(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion
Education Health Learning School