Subject: Education » School (Page 4)

Class schedules are designed so that every student will have time to waste between classes.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Interviewer: Did you graduate from Auburn?
Charles: No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School

Our school color was manila.

comedian
Education School

In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown; the difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Education School Self

When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Education School Time

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication School Speech

With one or two exceptions, colleges expect their players of games to be reasonably literate.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic
Education School Sports

Being dead is one way to experience nothing, another is to attend some classes at my school.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Death Education School

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

I have never been jealous; not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Education Fathers School

When I was in college, we did mushrooms and acid… and did I mention acid?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Activities Drugs School

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Death Fathers School Situations

When I was recruited at Auburn, they took me to a strip joint; when I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

He reminds me of the kid in fifth grade who reminded the teacher she forgot to give the homework.

writer & comedian
People School

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education England Places School

You might be a redneck if… you refer to the fifth grade as “my senior year.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education People Rednecks School

When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Education Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

College: A four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

Definitions Education School

I never did very well in math – I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education School

Interviewer: Auburn is a pretty good school; to graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports