Subject: Education » School (Page 5)

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian

In public school my daughter was voted most likely to conceive.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

The hardest thing to do at a community college is cheat on a test because the only people you can cheat off of also go to a community college.

American stand-up comedian

I had a terrible education… I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Our school color was manila.

comedian

With one or two exceptions, colleges expect their players of games to be reasonably literate.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic

He is so old… when he was in school they didn’t teach history!

When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.

(1956 – ) American comedian

The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want.

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

[Coedness] is like a radical agenda forced on college students.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)

1. The more general the title of a course, the less you will learn from it. 2. The more specific a title is, the less you will be able to apply it.

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

We are shut up in schools and college recitation rooms for ten or fifteen years, and come out at last with a bellyful of words and do not know a thing.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

I stopped telling people I didn't attend college when it suddenly dawned on me that no one was particularly surprised.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some.

(1956 – ) American comedian

Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income… which he then spends sending his son to college.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

 I want a school my football team can be proud of.

(1905 – 1998) botanist, author & University of Oklahoma president