Subject: Education » School (Page 5)

Pocket calculator batteries that have lasted all semester will fail during the math final.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Never let your studies interfere with your education.

Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence People School

Teaching Latin to someone like me in high school was somewhat like trying to teach a pig to dance; it’s a waste of the teacher’s time and it irritates the pig.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Education School

I never did very well in math – I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education School

I was thinkin' maybe we should just bomb ourselves so we could upgrade our school system.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Conflict Education School War

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School

I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.

Education School

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education England Places School

Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income… which he then spends sending his son to college.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Education Money School

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

(1941 – ) American singer & songwriter
Death Education School

In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown; the difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Education School Self

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Education School Science/Weather

University: A modern school where football is taught.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Education Football Language School

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Education School

Christ, seven years of college, down the drain.

(1949 – 1982) American comedian, actor & musician
Education School TV/Movie Quotes

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

Body Definitions Education School

Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers; my opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.


Communication Education Reading/Writing School