Subject: Education » School (Page 5)

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

I had a terrible education… I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Education School

After I failed my second test, I grabbed my teacher by the front of the shirt and said “Are you ‘trying’ to keep this shit a secret?”

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Education School

Anatomy: A class that sounds vaguely risqué until you find out what it really involves.

Body Definitions Education School

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence People School

If school had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today.

(1949 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Education School Sports

In public school my daughter was voted most likely to conceive.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Relationships School Sex

Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.

college basketball coach
Education School Sports

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

If, while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment is glutted.


Education Learning Murphy’s Laws School

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Activities Girls People School Sex

A statesman is any politician it’s considered safe to name a school after.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Education Government People School

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.

(1923 – 1966) stand-up comedian, writer, social critic & satirist
Education School

Interviewer: Auburn is a pretty good school; to graduate from there I suppose you really need to work hard and put forth maximum effort.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Education School Sports

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.

(1980 – ) cartoonist
Education School Things

If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live.

Education Murphy’s Laws Places School

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Education Law Money School

You never catch on until after the test.

Education Murphy’s Laws School Understanding

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, it was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education School

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School