Subject: Education » School (Page 5)

Can’t anything be done about calling these guys student athletes? … That’s like referring to Attila the Hun’s cavalry as “weekend warriors.”

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Education People School Sports

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Age Education School

You might be a redneck if… your school fight song is Dueling Banjos.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks School

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

(1948 – ) American cartoonist (Doonesbury)
Communication School Speech

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Education Intelligence Money Murphy’s Laws School Stupidity

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section.

(1927 – ) American comedian
Education School

My recipe for bad grades: don't study.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Education School

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence People School

80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Education Learning Memory School

With one or two exceptions, colleges expect their players of games to be reasonably literate.

(1898 – 1971) English classical scholar & academic
Education School Sports

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Education England Places School

They put me in Special Ed because they thought I was slow, but I stayed in Special Ed for the ladies.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Education Girls Intelligence School

A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the following semester.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

I stopped telling people I didn't attend college when it suddenly dawned on me that no one was particularly surprised.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
Education School

I went to medical school here at Columbia; I got my M.D.; and was practicing out in Colorado, where I decided to quit and do stand-up – and not just because of the lawsuits.

(1971 – ) American comedian, actor, television host & former physician
Doctors Education Health Law School

In school, every period ends with a bell… every sentence ends with a period… every crime ends with a sentence.


Education School

If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.

Education Murphy’s Laws School

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

(1941 – ) American singer & songwriter
Death Education School

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School