Subject: Emotions » Happiness

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

Happiness equals reality minus expectations.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”

Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

(1818 – 1885) humorist

Marriage is bliss… Ignorance is bliss… Ergo…

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer

The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.

Success is getting what you want, and happiness is wanting what you get.

(1926 – 1983) American comedian & singer

Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in small doses.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist

Ecstasy: Happiness with its clothes off.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money.

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer

On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy – but we'll work on it.

What pleases men most is old wine and young women.

(c. 484 BC – c. 425 BC) Greek historian

He was grinning like a butchers dog.