Subject: Emotions (Page 11)

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Emotions Happiness Money

Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Emotions Happiness

Love: Woman’s eternal spring and man’s eternal fall.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Love Wordplay

All you really need is love… but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Emotions Love

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs; if you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Emotions Entertainment Laughter

What pleases men most is old wine and young women.

(c. 484 BC – c. 425 BC) Greek historian
Emotions Happiness Men People Women

I’m not only Iranian, I’m also Jewish, and I know what you’re thinking… you’re thinking, ‘Wow, he’s Iranian and Jewish; I don’t know if I should hate him or hate him.’

American standup-comedian
Emotions People Self

The heaviest object in the world is the body of the woman you have ceased to love.

(1715 – 1747) French writer & moralist
Emotions Love People Women

The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be delayed in the post long enough for you to make a fool of yourself in person.

Fools Love Murphy’s Laws

People who never get carried away should be.

(1919 – 1990) publisher & author
Characteristics Emotions People

I have no problem with homophobia; as long as they do it behind closed doors.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Fear Sex

Seven days without laughter makes one weak.


Emotions Laughter Wordplay

You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.

(1954 – ) author
Beliefs Emotions God People

Give them pleasure – the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Emotions Entertainment Film

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Emotions Love

Madder than a barefoot centipede on a hot rock.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer
Anger TV/Movie Quotes

When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.

Matt Thompson (1965 – ) American comedian
Emotions Laughter Occupations Work

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won’t hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Emotions Happiness Health

I know what they're waiting for…(the press) is waiting for (Michelle Obama) to get pissed one night and throw all The President's (stuff) out on the lawn.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Beliefs Emotions Opinion

If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.

(1862 – 1937) novelist & short story writer
Happiness Life

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

Emotions Memory Past