Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Monday, February 24, 2025
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Subject:
Emotions
(Page 12)
Love can be sordid only if you work at it.
Brooke McEldowney
(1952 – ) cartoonist
Emotions
Love
Work
Sordid
The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Happiness
Intelligence
Money
Poverty
Wealth
Convictions
Foolish
Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
Irvin Cobb
(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication
Emotions
Situations
Humor
A woman in love can't be reasonable – or she probably wouldn't be in love.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions
Love
Women
Love is the answer… but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions
Love
Sex
Answers
Questions
Love will make you move all the way across the country and sell all your shit… just to get away from that person.
Tom Rhodes
(1967 – ) is an American comedian & actor
Emotions
Love
Things
People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.
Kathy Lette
(1958 – ) Australian author
Emotions
Happiness
Money
People
Shopping
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
Robert Heinlein
(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Emotions
Exercise
Love
Sex
Are you so unobservant that you do not yet realize that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics
Emotions
Happiness
Impossible
Sanity
I’m afraid of sharks – but only in a water situation.
Demetri Martin
(1973 – ) American comedian
Animals
Fear
Sharks
Anyone who says, 'You had to be there,' should just not have told you the thing in the first place because it's not funny.
Paul Tompkins
(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication
Laughter
Situations
Humor
Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
Bill Vaughn
(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Emotions
Happiness
Money
I read somewhere that men’s biggest fear is that women will laugh at them. And women’s biggest fear is that men will kill them… kind of different stakes that we’re working with.
Chelsea Peretti
(1978 – ) American stand-up comedian, actress & writer
Emotions
Fear
Men
People
Women
Fear
With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.
Will Rogers
(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress
Emotions
Government
Jokes
Violent Prayer: Engaging Your Emotions Against Evil
Chris Tiegreen
Book Titles
Emotions
In real love you want the other person's good; in romantic love, you want the other person.
Margaret Caroline Anderson
(1886 – 1973) American writer
Emotions
Love
Sex
Models are wearing $10,000 worth of stuff, and they still look mad.
Mark Curry
(1961 – ) American actor & comedian
Anger
Emotions
Models
As long as I have you there is just one other thing I'll always need — tremendous self control.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions
Situations
Self control
We have nothing to fear but fear itself… and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Emotions
Fear
Boogieman
When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics
Emotions
Happiness
Good
The only difference in the game of love over the last few thousand years is that they've changed trumps from clubs to diamonds.
The Indianapolis Star
Emotions
Love
Relationships
Diamonds
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