Subject: Emotions (Page 13)

I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Happiness Money

I have the biggest crush on my dentist; I’ve been doing everything to see him; I gargle with Coke.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Emotions Health

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Emotions Situations

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings.

(1956 – ) American humorist, comedian & author
Emotions Love

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy; one is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

Emotions Happiness Marriage Wives

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Beer Emotions Situations

Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.

(1888 – 1972) French actor, singer & entertainer
Emotions Love

Money doesn’t buy happiness; but happiness isn’t everything.

(1938 – 1979) American actress
Emotions Happiness Money

Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, but it sure heats up the blood.

(1939 – ) American actress
Emotions

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Emotions Entertainment Laughter

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Emotions Individuals Love People

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Emotions Intelligence Laughter Thinking

This makes me so sore it gets my dandruff up.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Anger Malaprops

Love: Two minds without a single thought.

(1896 – 1949) American dramatist
Emotions Love

Sympathy: What one usually gives to a friend or relative when he doesn’t want to lend him money.

Definitions Emotions

The romance is dead if he drinks champagne from your slipper and chokes on a Dr. Scholl’s foot pad.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Love

Love: Oceans of emotions surrounded by expanses of expenses.

Definitions Emotions Love

The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Happiness Intelligence Money Poverty Wealth

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Intelligence Love

1. Get elected
2. Get re-elected
3. Don’t get mad, get even.

Anger Elections/Voting Emotions Government Murphy’s Laws Politicians

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog; few people are interested and the frog dies as a result.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Animals Emotions