Subject: Emotions (Page 15)

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most embarrassment will be the one to

Emotions Murphy’s Laws Problems

Love will make you move all the way across the country and sell all your shit… just to get away from that person.

(1967 – ) is an American comedian & actor
Emotions Love Things

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems than you have to.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Emotions Life Problems Success

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Emotions People

It is better to be on penicillin, than never to have loved at all.

Emotions Love

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late.

typographer
Emotions Happiness Marriage

I loathe people who keep dogs; they are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

(1849 – 1912) Swedish writer
Animals Dogs Emotions

Man is the only animal that blushes… or needs to.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Emotions People

My daddy always said that a man who walks around with a smile on his face all the time can’t possibly know what's going on.

U.S. Senator (1942 – 2015) U.S. senator (Tennessee) & actor
Emotions Intelligence

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Emotions Happiness People Situations Sleep

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family… in another city.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Emotions Family Happiness Relationships

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs; if you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Emotions Entertainment Laughter

With Congress, every time they make a joke it’s a law, and every time they make a law it’s a joke.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Congress Emotions Government

The heaviest object in the world is the body of the woman you have ceased to love.

(1715 – 1747) French writer & moralist
Emotions Love People Women

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist
Emotions Love Men People

I get those maternal feelings; like when I’m laying on the couch and I can’t reach the remote control.

(1965 – ) American comedian
Children Emotions Family

If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who's gonna dance in our strip-clubs?

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Emotions

If it bends it's funny. If it breaks, it's not funny.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Emotions

The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Emotions Happiness

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Anger Characteristics Communication Speech

He who laughs last probably didn’t get the joke.

Emotions Laughter Murphy’s Laws