Subject: Emotions (Page 18)

In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Emotions Love

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Age Children Emotions Family

If love was easy, there would be almost no music.

(1960 – ) American comedian
Emotions Love Music

Happiness is a warm puppy.

cartoon character in, Peanuts, by Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000)
Animals Dogs Emotions Happiness

My grief counsellor died the other day… but he was so good I didn’t give a shit.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Death Emotions

It's better to have loved and lost, then have to live with that bitch for the rest of my life.

comedian
Divorce Emotions Love Marriage

Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.

Definitions Emotions

Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Emotions Happiness People

If it bends it's funny. If it breaks, it's not funny.

(1936 – ) American actor, director & screenwriter
Emotions

The fellow who laughs last may laugh best, but he gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Emotions Fools Intelligence Laughter

My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Happiness Marriage Time Wives

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Emotions Entertainment Laughter

As my mother used to say, ‘You’ll get unconditional love from me when you’ve earned it.

(1954 – ) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Family Mothers Relationships

I know what they're waiting for…(the press) is waiting for (Michelle Obama) to get pissed one night and throw all The President's (stuff) out on the lawn.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Beliefs Emotions Opinion

Don't come crawlin' to a man for love; he likes to get a run for his money.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Men

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most embarrassment will be the one to

Emotions Murphy’s Laws Problems

She was always crying; in fact, she wept so much she made everybody's corns ache.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Emotions

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering… and it’s all over much too soon.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death Emotions Life Time

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Emotions Love People

It was a very heart-rendering story.

Emotions Malaprops

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?


Emotions Situations