Subject: Emotions (Page 21)

Any man who hates dogs and babies can’t be all bad.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Animals Dogs Emotions People

Happiness is the China shop; love is the bull.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions Happiness Love

New Jersey is to America as America is to the world.

(1977 – ) American television producer, writer & comedian
America Emotions Places World

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Emotions Happiness Money

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes it's partner in crime.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Emotions Intelligence

Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love… unless you’re single & lonely then it’s called Laundry Day.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Emotions Love

Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics Emotions Happiness

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Emotions Money Old

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Happiness Marriage

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Emotions Fear

Somebody once said that laughter is the best medicine, and that was clearly written by a man that never tried Vicodin.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Activities Drugs Emotions Health Laughter

Ways to Relieve Stress #10: Make up a language and ask people for directions.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Emotions Language

Nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers

Characteristics Emotions Expressions

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Emotions Marriage

I think they should put pies on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something it's at least a little bit funny.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Emotions Food/Drink Things

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Definitions Emotions Happiness

A married friend of mine does that thing where he never goes to bed angry… because every time he and his wife fight, she makes him sleep on the couch.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Anger Emotions Marriage Situations Sleep

You don’t know what love is ’til you become a parent and fish a turd out of the bathtub for someone, then have to act positive about it.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Children Emotions Family Love

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Emotions People

The romance is dead if he drinks champagne from your slipper and chokes on a Dr. Scholl’s foot pad.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Emotions Love

Love is not a sprint, it’s a marathon, a relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms… or hits you with the pepper spray.

(1980 – ) American actor, comedian & musician
Love TV/Movie Quotes