Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Emotions
(Page 6)
I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions
Sports
Common sense
Hate
A laugh is a smile that bursts.
Mary H. Waldrip
(1949 – ) English nurse
Emotions
Happiness
Laughter
Smiling
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Oscar Wilde
(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions
Happiness
People
Leaving
Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
Joan Rivers
(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics
Emotions
Laughter
People
Jokes
Don't get
historical!
Malaprop
Emotions
Hysterical
It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.
Mignon McLaughlin
(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Communication
Emotions
Happiness
Intelligence
Stupidity
Innocence
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions
Entertainment
Film
People
Work
Sadness
As my mother used to say, ‘You’ll get unconditional love from me when you’ve earned it.
Drew Hastings
(1954 – ) American stand-up comedian
Emotions
Family
Mothers
Relationships
Unconditional love
Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.
Al Boliska
disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Activities
Emotions
Fear
Travel
Airlines
Boredom
You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.
Carrie Fisher
(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Emotions
Hollywood
Places
Closeness
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
James Thurber
(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Emotions
Humor
Satire
Wit
People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.
Kathy Lette
(1958 – ) Australian author
Emotions
Happiness
Money
People
Shopping
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… but I laugh more.
Anonymous
Emotions
Laughter
It is not necessary to have enemies if you go out of your way to make friends hate you.
Frank Dane
(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Emotions
Friends
Enemies
Hate
Not with anybody else.
Muhammad Ali
(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Emotions
Love
People
Self
When asked if he were ever in love
Too much of a good thing… can be wonderful.
Mae West
(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions
Happiness
Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.
H.L. Mencken
(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Emotions
Laughter
Audiences
Comedians
Creator
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce
(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions
Emotions
Happiness
Women
Bride
Nobody ever had to steal Georgie's affections – he gave them away at the drop of a skirt.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Emotions
Sex
Affections
George Jessel
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering… and it’s all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death
Emotions
Life
Time
Loneliness
Suffering
There are moments when everything goes well, but don’t be frightened.
Jules Renard
(1864 – 1910) French author
Fear
Life
Page 6 of 23
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