Subject: Entertainment » Music

Jazz: Music invented by demons for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman
Entertainment Fools Intelligence Music

There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.

(1920 – 2001) Soviet-born violinist & conductor
Entertainment Music

There is nothing remarkable about it; all one has to do is to hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

(1685 – 1750) German composer & musician
Entertainment Music

Ladies and gentlemen, I've suffered for my music… now it's your turn.

(1944 – ) English actor, musician & comic writer
Entertainment Music

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Beliefs Music People

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Age Entertainment Music Old People

Even Bach comes down to the basic suck, blow, suck, suck, blow.

(1914 – 2001) musician, harmonica player
Entertainment Music

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

American author
Entertainment Music Places

In China, the piano piece ‘Chopsticks’ is known as ‘Knife and Fork.’

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Music Places

Accordion Music: Noise that comes from playing both ends against the middle.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Bing Crosby sings like all people think they sing in the shower.

(1916 – 1994) American singer
Entertainment Music

Why do you always insist on playing while I’m trying to conduct?

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Misspokements Music

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Entertainment Music

A composer for one right hand.

(1813 – 1883) German composer, conductor, theatre director & essayist
Entertainment Insults Music

I liked your opera… I think I will set it to music.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Entertainment Insults Music

I know this music from memory, not from the music.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Memory Misspokements Music

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian
Insults Music Reading/Writing

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for thousands of years, you know what their musical contribution is going to be?… Riverdance.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Music People

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

It's not music, it's a disease.

(1911 – 2010) American bandleader
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism