Subject: Entertainment » Music

Berlioz composes by splashing his pen over the manuscript and leaving the issue to chance.

(1810 – 1849) Polish composer & virtuoso pianist
Entertainment Insults Music

U2’s lawyers work pro bono.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Entertainment Lawyers Music

Get up from that piano; you hurtin' its feelings.

(1885 – 1945) American ragtime pianist, bandleader & composer
Entertainment Music

The problem with women in an orchestra is that if they’re attractive it will upset my players and if they’re not it will upset me.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Appearance Entertainment Music People Women

After seeing the opera Tosca, Yogi remarked, “I really liked it, even the music was nice”

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Music Yogi-isms

If anyone has conducted a Beethoven performance, and then doesn’t have to go to an osteopath, then there’s something wrong.

(1955 – ) English conductor
Entertainment Music

Playing ‘Bop’ is like ‘Scrabble’ with all the vowels missing.

(1899 – 1974) American composer, pianist & bandleader
Entertainment Music

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Entertainment Music Television

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

American author
Entertainment Music Places

I play the harmonica, but only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Music Things

The New Kids on the Block lip-syncing – who gives a damn?… that's like finding out the Muppets didn't sing their own music.

comedian, television writer
Entertainment Music

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Dance Entertainment Intelligence Music

Fortissimo at last!

(1860 – 1911) Austrian composer
Entertainment Music Places

The museum boasted owning the original version of Beethoven's unfinished basement.

comedian
Entertainment Music Places

Jack Benny played Mendelsson last night… Mendelsson lost.

Entertainment Music

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Entertainment Music Things

An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to The William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger.

(1931 – ) television newscaster
Music

No… but I have trodden in some.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Insults Music

I am playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

(1926 – 1984) English comedian
Entertainment Music

Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman
Music Reviews/Criticism

A musicologist is a man who can read music but can’t hear it.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music