Subject: Entertainment » Music

Berlioz, musically speaking, is a lunatic; a classical composer only in Paris, the great city of quacks.

Entertainment Insults Music Places

Never look at the trombones; you’ll only encourage them.

(1864 – 1949) German composer
Entertainment Music

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

Entertainment Golf Music Sports

Brass bands are all very well in their place – outdoors and several miles away.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Music

I want to be a diva… like people-totally-respect-my-music diva, not diva like carry-my-Diet-Coke-around.

(1980 – ) American singer
Music Success

After Rossini dies, who will there be to promote his music?

(1813 – 1883) German composer, conductor, theatre director & essayist
Entertainment Insults Music

You might be a redneck if… your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.

(1920 – 2001) Soviet-born violinist & conductor
Entertainment Music

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do; and for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.’

(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor
Entertainment Music People

The hardest thing in the world is to start an orchestra, and the next hardest, to stop it.

(1843 – 1916) Hungarian conductor
Entertainment Music

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian
Insults Music Reading/Writing

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

Anton Bruckner wrote the same symphony nine times, trying to get it just right… he failed.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Music Reviews/Criticism

Without him here, it is impossible to know how fast he will play it, approximately.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Misspokements Music

Play us a medley of your hit.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment Insults Music

After conducting a concert in a small town, I once received the following note from a farmer who had attended the performance: “Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that the man who played the long thing you pull in and out only did so during the brief periods you were looking at him.

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor
Entertainment Music

Piano: A parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music Things

After conducting a concert in a small town, I once received the following note from a farmer who had attended the performance: “Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that the man who played the long thing you pull in and out only did so during the brief periods you were looking at him.”

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor
Entertainment Music