Subject: Entertainment » Music (Page 4)

Art is long and life is short; here is evidently the explanation of a Brahms symphony.

Get up from that piano; you hurtin' its feelings.

(1885 – 1945) American ragtime pianist, bandleader & composer

I liked your opera… I think I will set it to music.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more, but how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together; the public doesn’t give a damn what goes on inbetween.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman

The opera is like a husband with a foreign title – expensive to support, hard to understand and therefore a supreme social challenge.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist

The bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished learning them as when you start.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

The secret of my piano playing is that I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist

Jack Benny would end his act by playing a tune on his violin, so naturally he got a big cheer when he finished.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Elwood: Eh… what kind of music do you usually have here?

Claire: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country and western.

(1941 – ) American actress

These go to 11.

(1948 – ) English-American screenwriter, musician, director & actor

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

I want to be a diva… like people-totally-respect-my-music diva, not diva like carry-my-Diet-Coke-around.

(1980 – ) American singer

Jack Benny played Mendelsson last night… Mendelsson lost.

Assassins!

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor

The problem with women in an orchestra is that if they’re attractive it will upset my players and if they’re not it will upset me.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night… Brahms lost.

(1898 – 1971) American humorist

Shostakovich is without doubt the foremost composer of pornographic music in the history of art.

(1855 – 1937) American musical critic & scholar

It’s difficult to remember when you haven’t played it before.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist